very place it
pitched.

COLONEL. Gammon! You've lost your temper, you don't know what
you're talking about.

ERNEST. [coolly.] I suppose you'll admit the rule that one umpires
one's own court.

COLONEL. [Hotly.] Certainly not, in this case!

MISS BEECH. [From behind the hollow tree.] Special case!

ERNEST. [Moving chin in collar--very coolly.] Well, of course if
you won't play the game!

COLONEL. [In a towering passion.] If you lose your temper like
this, I 'll never play with you again.

[To LETTY, a pretty soul in a linen suit, approaching through
the wall.]

Do you mean to say that ball was out, Letty?

LETTY. Of course it was, Father.

COLONEL. You say that because he's your husband. [He sits on the
rustic seat.] If your mother'd been there she'd have backed me up!

LETTY. Mother wants Joy, Dick, about her frock.

DICK. I--I don't know where she is.

MISS BEECH. [From behind the hollow tree.] Ahem!

LETTY. What's the matter, Peachey?

MISS BEECH. Swallowed a fly. Poor creature!

ERNEST. [Returning to his point.] Why I know the ball was out,
Colonel, was because it pitched in a line with that arbutus tree.

COLONEL. [Rising.] Arbutus tree! [To his daughter.] Where's your
mother?

LETTY. In the blue room, Father.

ERNEST. The ball was a good foot out; at the height it was coming
when it passed me.

COLONEL. [Staring at him.] You're a--you're aa theorist! From
where you were you could n't see the ball at all. [To LETTY.]
Where's your mother?

LETTY. [Emphatically.] In the blue room, Father!

[The COLONEL glares confusedly, and goes away towards the blue
room.]

ERNEST. [In the swing, and with a smile.] Your old Dad'll never be
a sportsman!

LETTY. [Indignantly.] I wish you wouldn't call Father old, Ernie!
What time's Molly coming, Peachey?

[ROSE has come from the house, and stands waiting for a chance
to speak.]

ERNEST. [Breaking in.] Your old Dad's only got one fault: he can't
take an impersonal view of things.

MISS BEECH. Can you find me any one who can?

ERNEST. [With a smile.] Well, Peachey!

MISS BEECH. [Ironically.] Oh! of course, there's you!

ERNEST. I don't know about that! But----

ROSE. [To LETTY,] Please, Miss, the Missis says will you and Mr.
Ernest please to move your things into Miss Peachey's room.

ERNEST. [Vexed.] Deuce of a nuisance havin' to turn out for this
fellow L