or to be asked only once? Who, when he
suspected that he was going to be asked for any thing, has not frowned,
turned away his face, pretended to be busy, or purposely talked without
ceasing, in order not to give his suitor a chance of preferring his
request, and avoided by various tricks having to help his friend in his
pressing need? and when driven into a corner, has not either put the
matter off, that is, given a cowardly refusal, or promised his help
ungraciously, with a wry face, and with unkind words, of which he seemed
to grudge the utterance. Yet no one is glad to owe what he has not
so much received from his benefactor, as wrung out of him. Who can be
grateful for what has been disdainfully flung to him, or angrily cast
at him, or been given him out of weariness, to avoid further trouble? No
one need expect any return from those whom he has tired out with delays,
or sickened with expectation. A benefit is received in the same temper
in which it is given, and ought not, therefore, to be given carelessly,
for a man thanks himself for that which he receives without the
knowledge of the giver. Neither ought we to give after long delay,
because in all good offices the will of the giver counts for much, and
he who gives tardily must long have been unwilling to give at all. Nor,
assuredly, ought we to give in offensive manner, because human nature is
so constituted that insults sink deeper than kindnesses; the remembrance
of the latter soon passes away, while that of the former is treasured in
the memory; so what can a man expect who insults while he obliges? All
the gratitude which he deserves is to be forgiven for helping us. On
the other hand, the number of the ungrateful ought not to deter us
from earning men's gratitude; for, in the first place, their number is
increased by our own acts. Secondly, the sacrilege and indifference
to religion of some men does not prevent even the immortal gods from
continuing to shower their benefits upon us: for they act according to
their divine nature and help all alike, among them even those who so ill
appreciate their bounty. Let us take them for our guides as far as the
weakness of our mortal nature permits; let us bestow benefits, not put
them out at interest. The man who while he gives thinks of what he will
get in return, deserves to be deceived. But what if the benefit turns
out ill? Why, our wives and our children often disappoint our hopes,
yet we marry--and bring up chil