ay be with us also; and in all cases
we must be careful not to send useless presents, such as hunting weapons
to a woman or old man, or books to a rustic, or nets to catch wild
animals to a quiet literary man. On the other hand, we ought to be
careful, while we wish to send what will please, that we do not send
what will insultingly remind our friends of their failings, as, for
example, if we send wine to a hard drinker or drugs to an invalid, for a
present which contains an allusion to the shortcomings of the receiver,
becomes an outrage.

XII. If we have a free choice as to what to give, we should above all
choose lasting presents, in order that our gift may endure as long
as possible; for few are so grateful as to think of what they have
received, even when they do not see it. Even the ungrateful remember
us by our gifts, when they are always in their sight and do not allow
themselves to be forgotten, but constantly obtrude and stamp upon the
mind the memory of the giver. As we never ought to remind men of what we
have given them, we ought all the more to choose presents that will be
permanent; for the things themselves will prevent the remembrance of the
giver from fading away. I would more willingly give a present of plate
than of coined money, and would more willingly give statues than clothes
or other things which are soon worn out. Few remain grateful after the
present is gone: many more remember their presents only while they make
use of them. If possible, I should like my present not to be consumed;
let it remain in existence, let it stick to my friend and share his
life. No one is so foolish as to need to be told not to send gladiators
or wild beasts to one who has just given a public show, or not to send
summer clothing in winter time, or winter clothing in summer. Common
sense must guide our benefits; we must consider the time and the place,
and the character of the receiver, which are the weights in the
scale, which cause our gifts to be well or ill received. How far more
acceptable a present is, if we give a man what he has not, than if we
give him what he has plenty of! if we give him what he has long been
searching for in vain, rather than what he sees everywhere! Let us make
presents of things which are rare and scarce rather than costly, things
which even a rich man will be glad of, just as common fruits, such as
we tire of after a few days, please us if they have ripened before the
usual season. Peop