an entertain their own friends and be themselves.
If they live thus under the parental roof, they can keep their
self-respect by paying something a month as rent, no matter how small.
Furthermore, they should own their furniture--at least some of it; it
should represent their own joint taste; the possession of some lares and
penates is a very good basis for a lifetime partnership. The joint
possession of material things is almost an essential to successful
marriage.
Should the girl hold her job after she marries? Some authorities say
that a bride is better off, emotionally more serene, if she has some
work--not too fatiguing--outside the home.
Modern young people do not marry until they know that each brings to
the marriage bodily fitness. A medical examination, with blood tests, is
required in many progressive states before a marriage license can be
secured. A doctor's certificate of bodily fitness for marriage is fully
as essential as a marriage license. Such an examination gives a feeling
of security to each individual and forwards the well being of society.
To many modern engaged couples the most disturbing question is, "Shall
we wait until marriage for physical union?" No question, I think, comes
up more often in college courses and conferences on engagement and
marriage. "We love each other devotedly; why should we wait for a mere
license and a public ceremony?" That testimony which trained doctors,
sociologists, and psychiatrists give is entirely in favor of postponing
all such relations until after the marriage ceremony. Furthermore,
statistics show that marriages in which the engaged couple do not "go
all the way" seem to have a higher chance of success.
Modern life has made this a keener difficulty for young people than it
was for most of us older ones. Inhibitions have largely gone, young
people are allowed to work out their own problems; the automobile,
tourist cabin, and hotels with careless standards for their guests allow
any engaged couple plenty of opportunity, which we largely lacked. If,
even though an engaged couple are passionately in love, the temptation
does not present itself at all, they are fortunate; there have been
millions of happy marriages before in which this has taken care of
itself naturally. On the other hand, if they have to face this situation
frankly, and decided to wait, they need have no fear that this indicates
a lack of sex feeling or that after marriage this relationship
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