nfernal threshing-machine.

The legs and arms quieted down; the fat hands grabbed the glittering
trinket. "Goo--goo--goo--goo," said the baby, and thrust the locket in
her mouth. I think she must have been going through the interesting
process of teething, for she made so many dents in the handsome face,
that it was rendered useless as a future gift to some fortunate girl,
while the way she slobbered over it was disgusting. I scarcely regretted
the ruin of the locket, I was so delighted to have her keep quiet; but,
alas! the little wretch soon dropped it and began howling like ten
thousand midnight cats. I trotted her again--I tossed her--I laid her
over my knees on her stomach--I said "Ssh--ssh--ssssh--sssssh!" all in
vain. Instead of ten minutes for refreshments it seemed to me that they
gave ten hours.

In desperation I raised her and hung her over my shoulder, rising at
the same time and walking up and down the aisle. The howling ceased:
but now the young ladies, after choking with suppressed laughter,
finally broke into a scream of delight. Something must be up! I took
the baby down and looked over my shoulder--the little rip had opened
her mouth and sent a stream of white, curdy milk down the back of my
new overcoat. For one instant the fate of that child hung in the
balance. I walked to the door, and made a movement to throw her to
the dogs; but humanity gained the day, and I refrained.

I felt that my face was redder than the baby's; every passenger
remaining in the car was smiling. I went calmly back, and laid her
down on the seat, while I took off my coat and made an attempt to
remove the odious matters with my handkerchief, which ended by my
throwing the coat over the back of the seat in disgust, resolving that
mother would have to finish the job with her "Renovator." My
handkerchief I threw out of the window.

Thank goodness! the engine bell was ringing at last and the people
crowding back into the train.

I drew a long breath of relief, snatched the shrieking infant up
again, for fear the mother would blame me for neglecting her ugly
brat--and waited.

"All aboard!" shouted the conductor; the bell ceased to ring, the
wheels began to revolve, the train was in motion.

"Great Jupiter Ammen!" I thought, while a cold sweat started out all
over me, "she will be left!"

The cars moved faster and more mercilessly fast; the conductor
appeared at the door; I rose and rushed toward him, the baby in my
arms