give me, I entreat you. I was unjust
and I hate myself."

"I insult you with my whining and complaints. You are a true,
generous . . . rare man--I am conscious of it every minute; but
I've been horribly depressed for the last few days. . ."

Zinaida Fyodorovna impulsively embraced Orlov and kissed him on the
cheek.

"Only please don't cry," he said.

"No, no. . . . I've had my cry, and now I am better."

"As for the servant, she shall be gone to-morrow," he said, still
moving uneasily in his chair.

"No, she must stay, _George!_ Do you hear? I am not afraid of her
now. . . . One must rise above trifles and not imagine silly things.
You are right! You are a wonderful, rare person!"

She soon left off crying. With tears glistening on her eyelashes,
sitting on Orlov's knee, she told him in a low voice something
touching, something like a reminiscence of childhood and youth. She
stroked his face, kissed him, and carefully examined his hands with
the rings on them and the charms on his watch-chain. She was carried
away by what she was saying, and by being near the man she loved,
and probably because her tears had cleared and refreshed her soul,
there was a note of wonderful candour and sincerity in her voice.
And Orlov played with her chestnut hair and kissed her hands,
noiselessly pressing them to his lips.

Then they had tea in the study, and Zinaida Fyodorovna read aloud
some letters. Soon after midnight they went to bed. I had a fearful
pain in my side that night, and I not get warm or go to sleep till
morning. I could hear Orlov go from the bedroom into his study.
After sitting there about an hour, he rang the bell. In my pain and
exhaustion I forgot all the rules and conventions, and went to his
study in my night attire, barefooted. Orlov, in his dressing-gown
and cap, was standing in the doorway, waiting for me.

"When you are sent for you should come dressed," he said sternly.
"Bring some fresh candles."

I was about to apologise, but suddenly broke into a violent cough,
and clutched at the side of the door to save myself from falling.

"Are you ill?" said Orlov.

I believe it was the first time of our acquaintance that he addressed
me not in the singular--goodness knows why. Most likely, in my
night clothes and with my face distorted by coughing, I played my
part poorly, and was very little like a flunkey.

"If you are ill, why do you take a place?" he said.

"That I may not die of starvation," I