."

We were silent. Orlov was evidently afraid I should begin talking
of the child again, and to turn my attention in another direction,
said:

"You have probably forgotten your letter by now. But I have kept
it. I understand your mood at the time, and, I must own, I respect
that letter. 'Damnable cold blood,' 'Asiatic,' 'coarse laugh'--
that was charming and characteristic," he went on with an ironical
smile. "And the fundamental thought is perhaps near the truth,
though one might dispute the question endlessly. That is," he
hesitated, "not dispute the thought itself, but your attitude to
the question--your temperament, so to say. Yes, my life is abnormal,
corrupted, of no use to any one, and what prevents me from beginning
a new life is cowardice--there you are quite right. But that you
take it so much to heart, are troubled, and reduced to despair by
it--that's irrational; there you are quite wrong."

"A living man cannot help being troubled and reduced to despair
when he sees that he himself is going to ruin and others are going
to ruin round him."

"Who doubts it! I am not advocating indifference; all I ask for is
an objective attitude to life. The more objective, the less danger
of falling into error. One must look into the root of things, and
try to see in every phenomenon a cause of all the other causes. We
have grown feeble, slack--degraded, in fact. Our generation is
entirely composed of neurasthenics and whimperers; we do nothing
but talk of fatigue and exhaustion. But the fault is neither yours
nor mine; we are of too little consequence to affect the destiny
of a whole generation. We must suppose for that larger, more general
causes with a solid _raison d'etre_ from the biological point of
view. We are neurasthenics, flabby, renegades, but perhaps it's
necessary and of service for generations that will come after us.
Not one hair falls from the head without the will of the Heavenly
Father--in other words, nothing happens by chance in Nature and
in human environment. Everything has its cause and is inevitable.
And if so, why should we worry and write despairing letters?"

"That's all very well," I said, thinking a little. "I believe it
will be easier and clearer for the generations to come; our experience
will be at their service. But one wants to live apart from future
generations and not only for their sake. Life is only given us once,
and one wants to live it boldly, with full consciousness and beau