a suit that seemed coeval with the
Conquest.

It was an unworthy ambition, perhaps, but I did wish I could make this
man admire something about me or something I did--you would have felt
the same way. I saw my opportunity: I was about to return to London,
and had "listed" my soiled linen for the wash. It made quite an imposing
mountain in the corner of the room--fifty-four pieces. I hoped he would
fancy it was the accumulation of a single week. I took up the wash-list,
as if to see that it was all right, and then tossed it on the table,
with pretended forgetfulness. Sure enough, he took it up and ran his
eye along down to the grand total. Then he said, "You get off easy," and
laid it down again.

His gloves were the saddest ruin, but he told me where I could get some
like them. His shoes would hardly hold walnuts without leaking, but he
liked to put his feet up on the mantelpiece and contemplate them.
He wore a dim glass breastpin, which he called a "morphylitic
diamond"--whatever that may mean--and said only two of them had ever
been found--the Emperor of China had the other one.

Afterward, in London, it was a pleasure to me to see this fantastic
vagabond come marching into the lobby of the hotel in his grand-ducal
way, for he always had some new imaginary grandeur to develop--there
was nothing stale about him but his clothes. If he addressed me when
strangers were about, he always raised his voice a little and called me
"Sir Richard," or "General," or "Your Lordship"--and when people began
to stare and look deferential, he would fall to inquiring in a casual
way why I disappointed the Duke of Argyll the night before; and then
remind me of our engagement at the Duke of Westminster's for the
following day. I think that for the time being these things were
realities to him. He once came and invited me to go with him and spend
the evening with the Earl of Warwick at his town house. I said I had
received no formal invitation. He said that that was of no consequence,
the Earl had no formalities for him or his friends. I asked if I could
go just as I was. He said no, that would hardly do; evening dress was
requisite at night in any gentleman's house. He said he would wait while
I dressed, and then we would go to his apartments and I could take a
bottle of champagne and a cigar while he dressed. I was very willing to
see how this enterprise would turn out, so I dressed, and we started to
his lodgings. He said if I didn't