gentleman with a
likeness to the great little Admiral. Such, Sir, as yourself. It may be
news to you--it probably is--but you, Sir, if I may say so, are so like
the famous and immortal warrior as almost to take one's breath away. It
is astonishing, wonderful! Might I--would it be--could you--would you,
Sir, be so very kind as to allow me to paint you? I would, of course,
make every effort not to inconvenience you--I would arrange so that your
time should be mine."

"Of course I will, guvnor," said the man. "I'm a professional model and
I've been sitting for NELSON for years. Why, I've been doing it for an
artist this very afternoon."

[Illustration: OUR RESTRICTED COAST AMUSEMENTS.

_Vendor_. "ALL THE OFFICIAL 'OLIDAY FUN. FLY THE PATRIOTIC KITES AND
ANNOY THE GOTHAS!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Physical Drill Instructor (to weak-kneed recruit)_. "NAH
THEN! IF YOU'RE A-GOING TER JUMP--_JUMP!_"]

* * * * *

A LOST LAND.

(To GERMANY.)

A childhood land of mountain ways,
Where earthy gnomes and forest fays,
Kind foolish giants, gentle bears,
Sport with the peasant as he fares
Affrighted through the forest glades,
And lead sweet wistful little maids
Lost in the woods, forlorn, alone,
To princely lovers and a throne.
* * * * *
Dear haunted land of gorge and glen,
Ah me! the dreams, the dreams of men!

A learned land of wise old books
And men with meditative looks,
Who move in quaint red-gabled towns
And sit in gravely-folded gowns,
Divining in deep-laden speech
The world's supreme arcana--each
A homely god to listening Youth
Eager to tear the veil of Truth;
* * * * *
Mild votaries of book and pen--
Alas, the dreams, the dreams of men!

A music land, whose life is wrought
In movements of melodious thought;
In symphony, great wave on wave--
Or fugue, elusive, swift, and grave;
A singing land, whose lyric rhymes
Float on the air like village chimes:
Music and Verse--the deepest part
Of a whole nation's thinking heart!
* * * * *
Oh land of Now, oh land of Then!
Dear God! the dreams, the dreams of men!

Slave nation in a land of hate,
Where are the things that made you great?
Child-hearted once--oh, deep defiled,
Dare you look now upon a child?
Your lore--a hideous mas