ou are worthy of your spurs and count a horse your friend.
Just ask them "Did you clip trace-high?" or "Did you chaff your hay?"
Or boast about the gee you ride, and they'll have lots to say.

Cut out the talk of battle's din, of whizz-bangs and of crumps,
Of bombs and gas and hand-grenades, of mines and blazing dumps;
If you would wake their sympathy and warm their hearts indeed
Describe a Squadron watering, and then the fuss at "Feed!"

That lively bustle has a charm to wake a mummy's ear
Who, ere the Pyramids were planned, was mustered charioteer;
And many a horseman's spirit thrills by Lethe's drowsy brink
When in a strange, familiar dream his Troop comes down to drink!

* * * * *

From "The Story of the Haldane Missions":--

"The Kaiser laughingly remarked that he had better have the high
chair (in which the Kaiser usually sat at his council meetings).
He also gave Lord Haldane an Imperial cigar.... While discussing
the naval question, the Kaiser took a copy of the new Naval Bill
out of his pocket and handed it to Lord Haldane, who transferred
it to his pocket without looking at it."--_Daily Chronicle._

He probably thought it was another of the Imperial cigars.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Grocer-fiend (who has treated three preceding customers
to (a) "We ain't got no sugar;" (b) "We have none, Madam;" and (c) "No
sugar in the shop"--to boy)._ "BE OFF. WE'VE GOT NO SUGAR!"

_Boy._ "I DIDN'T ASK FOR NO SUGAR. I WANT A PENNORTH O' SODA--AN' THAT'S
TAKEN THE' BLOOMING SWANK OUT OF YOU, AIN'T IT?"]

* * * * *

A STRAIGHT TALK WITH L. G.

_(Everyone has views as to how to win the War, but not all are vocal,
or--shall we say?--vociferous. If Mr. LLOYD GEORGE reads all the papers
(as their Editors of course expect him to do) he cannot have missed
quite a number of powerful articles in the following manner. And even if
he should miss one or two it would not matter, because there is always
another in preparation.)_

I've always said that the PREMIER shouldn't be bothered with Parliament.
Of course I've said too that our old friend Demos, the new god, should
have a say in affairs; but that's an inconsistency that doesn't count in
the least, does it?

Now then, Mr. PREMIER, you've got the chance of your lifetime. I always
said you were a lucky devil--in fact, I never met the