speak to her, but
unfortunately I had a quinsy. When the woman eventually died it was
discovered that she had been destitute for a long time. She left her
hand-cart by will to my grandmother, and in her disappointment my
grandmother beat me over the head with it. Soon afterwards my hair began
to come out, and my grandmother said it was time I found a husband.

Accordingly she went next door, where lived a woman with five sons. They
were all out except one, and he had a sore leg. She brought him to me,
and I cried very bitterly. He also. His name was Ivan, and I wished it
had been Peter.

The next day we were betrothed, and all our friends came to eat the
feast that my grandmother provided. A school-fellow of mine, a very
beautiful girl, was angry because I had a husband and not she. She
scratched my face, and the blood ran on to my dress. Our friends
congratulated us, and when they had gone my grandmother said it had been
a great success. She and I finished what was left of the feast and went
to bed. I remember that my feet were very cold, and when I fell asleep I
dreamed that my betrothed's name was Peter. When I awoke I cried very
loud, and my grandmother slapped my cheeks.

Shortly afterwards she died, and I went to live with my uncle, who was a
pawnbroker in Moscow.

* * * * *

THE LONG-FACED CHUMS.

When Alexander won the world he knew not bombs nor guns,
His simple forms of frightfulness were quite unlike the Huns';
'Twas not by barking mortars that the pushful CAESAR scored;
He trusted close formations and the silent stabbing sword.

When ROLAND'S rearguard turned at bay, and from the furious press
The scuppered Paladin sent forth his famous S.O.S.,
Scared Roncesvalles rang loud with war, as misty legends tell,
But echo's ear was spared the shriek and crash of bursting shell.

So could you meet the shades of those whose prowess made Romance,
You'd find them only puzzled by your tales of stunts in France;
You'd have to cut the business out, and be content to chat
Of rations, grub, and officers--such odds and ends as that,

Unless you chanced to entertain some true rough-rider's ghost,
Who galloped after HANNIBAL, or with the Parthian host,
Some curled Assyrian prince who pranced, bareback, along a frieze--
Or one of RUPERT'S _beaux sabreurs_--a horseman--whom you please.

With chosen spirits such as those your talk need never end
If y