d gave a dentist-drill
feeling as they ploughed their way through space. It was alleged that
when he struck his plantation and shouted at the depot as he leaped
from the train that he had arrived, all the ranch hands fell down and
crossed themselves, thinking it was the sound of the last trump and
their time had come. We have no actual proof of it, but undoubtedly
these announcements were heard on Mars, and might better be utilized as
signals to that planet than anything that has yet been suggested. He
had a fatal faculty of stringing together big words from Webster's
"Unabridged," and connecting them with conjunctions quite irrespective
of the sense, so that the product was like waves of hot air from a
vast, reverberating furnace. It was the practice of this orator to
jump from his seat at all gatherings without warning, and make
detonating announcements on all kinds of subjects to the utterly
helpless passengers, the captain, the officers and the stewards. These
hardy sons of the sea, who had often faced imminent danger, would
visibly flinch, set their faces and cover their ears till the ordeal
was over. But they were never safe, as he made two or three
announcements daily, and they had to listen to his thunder in all parts
of the ship till it returned to New York. His incessant shouting was a
flock of dinosauria in the amber of repose; it upset our nerves, but as
it added to our opportunities for killing time, many forgave him and
thought him well worth the price of admission. In many respects his
disposition was kindly and generous; but oh, my! how he could and did
talk!

There were two men with us who represented a type known to the _Cork's_
other passengers as "the Impressionists." When they came on board
orders were given in a loud voice as to the disposal of their luggage,
the chauffeurs were asked whether everything had been taken from the
cars, and the travelers then made their way to the chief steward.
After receiving a tip, that personage became satisfied that they were
deep enough in dry goods to entitle them to seats at an officer's
table, which were given them. Their opportunity came next day when
they had donned their "glad rags," and stood in the centre of the
smoking-room. A few minutes before the dinner gong sounded they drank
a Martini, and looked over the heads of the crowd with an air of
conscious superiority. Dinner started, they surrounded themselves with
table waters and Rhine wines