ten cars of watermelons or a
bunch of steers on a single hand, and most always "pulled it off." He
became infatuated with an odalisk who was a popular favorite at the
Beni Hassan opera house--the rock he split on was _Annie Laurie_, that
good old song, then well known in Lower Egypt, which she sang with chic
and abandon. Bub met her at the stage door after the performance, took
her to a "canned lobster palace," and then eloped with her to the
Second Cataract, instead of coming right over here to Niagara Falls and
doing the thing up in regulation style. I assume they had a _Maid of
the Mist_ at the cataract, and if so he certainly had his photograph
taken in a suit of oilskin--but, of course, this is only an assumption.
However, it is a certainty that he was a plunger and often cornered the
melon crop in the Produce Exchange at Abydos, when the sprouting season
was delayed by floods. It is said that Bubastis I. had more scarabs
buried with him than had any other king that ever ruled the land; I
have no doubt of it, for some of them are offered daily at Shepheard's
by a dozen scarab scalpers.

Some sceptical readers may raise their brows at this synopsis of a
great man's life, but no suspicions need exist. It was all told to me
in strict confidence by Gooley Can in his tent at Luxor, over a cup of
afternoon tea. He explained that he had dug out these facts in the
museums in the slack season when tourists were scarce, and that I could
rely on them implicitly.

While he was at it, Gooley gave me a few tabloid truths regarding Setee
I., who, it seems, rivaled and even excelled both Ram and Bub in the
realm of sport. Setee, as his name implies, was not of royal blood,
but was descended from a line of chair makers, having their main
factory at Beni Suef. As a youth of eighteen he won the single sculls
championship, defeating a large field. He was the captain of the
cricket eleven, and defeated the Asia Minors in a game which lasted
most of the summer, scoring three hundred and seventy-five runs off his
own bat in the first innings. This was a great boost for cricket, and
it has been popular in England ever since. He was fullback on the
Pyramids eleven, and was famous in his day as a punter. He kicked as
many goals for his side as ever Cadwalader did when "Cad" was Yale's
great centre rush. It was Setee's custom, of a Sunday morning after
church was out, to take his pole and vault the Sphinx, just to astonish
th