gh)
To such "rational," but most irrelevant stuff:--
_If not in the Fashion, a Woman's a Fright!!!_

* * * * *

FROM THE ZOO.--The Tapir, the _Daily Telegraph_ stated in one of the
paragraphs of its useful and amusing diary of "London Day by
Day,"--"The Tapir," at the Zoological Gardens, is a specimen of a
species now "verging on the brink of extinction. He was an old Tory;
the world changes, but change he would not." He should be known as the
"Red Tape-ir."

***

THE SEAS-ON.--Mr. J. L. TOOLE, until he reaches Australia.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A WOMAN'S REASON.]

_Cousin Jack._ "Then why did you Marry him, Effie?"

_Effie._ "Oh, well--I wanted to see the Paris Exhibition, you know!"

* * * * *

SHOOTING ARROWS AT A SONG.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,--I observe, that a gentleman has written, in a book
called _In Tennyson Land_, an account of the exact localities of "the
Moated Grange," and other well-advertised places--statements, which
however, have been promptly challenged by the Poet's son in the
_Athenaeum_. As there seems to be some doubt upon this subject,
perhaps, you will allow me to give a few notes anent the interesting
objects which Lord TENNYSON has so obligingly immortalised in song.

_The Owl._--The name of a bright little newspaper which, amongst other
items of news and flashes of humour, gave a list of proposed
marriages--hence, no doubt, the refrain of "To wit and to woo." It
owed its temporary success both to its fun and its matrimonial
intelligence.

_The Dying Swan._--Probably, suggested by the condition of one of
these interesting creatures on the Thames, whose plumage had changed
from white to blue, owing to the River being made the temporary
repository for the outcome of some chemical works.

_Oriana._--This name, there is every reason to believe, was suggested
by a character in the opening of a pantomime at one of the minor
theatres, very popular some twenty or thirty years ago.

_The Miller's Daughter._--A very touching reference to the domestic
life of a hero of the Prize Ring.

_Lady Clara Vere de Vere._--Tradition has it that this aristocratic
sounding title was originally intended for a new sort of velveteen,
that would have been sold at a profit at three-and-sixpence a yard,
double width.

_The May Queen._--Believed to have been changed at the last moment
from "The Jack-