London at the same time; and the Wicked Abbe BANCROFT in replying to
the toast of the Drama, pathetically represented his hard case of
being called upon to make an after-dinner speech, when he hadn't had
any dinner. The Actor's lot is evidently, not always a happy one. He
wanted a "feeding-part" and didn't get it. The dinner was excellent,
and the waiting of the waiters was, as far as I could ascertain,
exceptionally good. Certainly the Metropole, or the New "Holland"
House,--as it might be termed, after its manager,--holds first rank
for this sort of business. We present Mr. HOLLAND, the Metropole
Caterer, with this suggestion:--

_The Only Condiment for a Farewell Banquet_--"Sauce Ta Ta!"

* * * * *

AVENUE THEATRE.--ALEXANDER the Growing, not yet the Great, finds that
for some weeks to come there will be no necessity to doctor his Bill.
He will be wise, however, not to reject any proffered assistance, as,
from his present success, it is evident he cannot get on un-Aide-d.

* * * * *

[Illustration: HAPPY THOUGHT.]

"OH, I SAY, OLD MAN, I WISH YOU'D RUN UPSTAIRS AND HUNT FOR MY AUNT,
AND BRING HER DOWN TO SUPPER. SHE'S AN OLD LADY, IN A RED BODY, AND A
GREEN SKIRT, AND A BLUE AND YELLOW TRAIN, WITH AN ORANGE BIRD OF
PARADISE IN HER CAP. YOU CAN'T _POSSIBLY_ MISTAKE HER. SAY I SENT
YOU!"

"AWFULLY SORRY, OLD MAN, BUT--A--I'M TOTALLY COLOUR-BLIND, YOU KNOW.
JUST BEEN TESTED!" [_Exit in a hurry._

* * * * *

THE INCANTATION SCENE.

_Freely Adapted from "Der Freischuetz."_

_Caspar_, Mr. L-B-CH-RE.
_Zamiel_, Mr. P-RN-LL.

SCENE--_Stage in complete shadow. An Irish Glen surrounded by bare
mountains covered with dwarf oaks, overhanging a big bog. The Moon
is shining dimly._ CASPAR _discovered with a pouch and hanger,
busily engaged in making a Circle of fairy lanterns, in the middle
of which is placed a turnip-skull, a shillelagh, a bunch of
shamrock, a crucible, and a bullet-mould. Distant mutterings
heard._

_Chorus of Distant Party-Spirits._

Shindy now would be a boon,
("_Hear, hear! Hear, hear!_")
Interest in M-tch-llst-wn hath died,
("_Hear, hear! Hear, hear!_")
Mischief must be stirred up soon.
("_Hear, hear! Hear, hear!_")
And Obstruction once more tried.
("_Hear, he