he end of it. Malice soon prefixed to her name the
epithet scornful; and among her school-girl friends there were some who
always passed by on the other side. Poor girl! She wept bitter tears over
these sneers and slights, for she had not studied the world enough to
learn and despise its despicable things. Even then, dear girl! too, she
tried to love all the world, that is, all her native village. And she
succeeded, at least far enough to forgive them all, and thus to feel her
own mind at peace and resigned. But there was a tinge of sadness left on
her Grecian face after all; for to the young, when the out-stretched hand
of kindly feeling is coldly put aside, the grief is as great as though the
repulse were deserved.
And I--I hardly know what I was, when I first saw my cousin. I was without
father or mother; the world seemed wide and rather cheerless; and there
was a settled impression on my mind, that it was my business to glide
along through life, calmly and noiselessly; attach my affections to no
external object; exist without being the cause of joy, and die without
being the cause of tears, to any human being. I came and took up my abode
in the pleasant village where my uncle resided, and set down to gain some
knowledge of that noble science, civil law. I took up the study, not
because I had any intention of engaging in the active duties of the
profession, but for the name's sake, and because I loved it for itself. My
uncle, he was a kind, good man, showed himself a father to me, took me
into his family, tried to encourage and rouse me; and for his kindness,
though it failed of its end, he had at the time, and has always had, my
sincere though unexpressed thanks.
I had hardly become acquainted with my relatives, uncle, aunt, and their
three children, when I entered my office, shut the door, and immersed
myself in books and my own thoughts. That those thoughts were not of the
most joyous nature, I need hardly say. Still, looking back to that period,
from where I stand now, I cannot say they were misanthropic. If I did not
love all my species, it was because I saw nothing lovely in any body; but
I did not hate them. I felt that I was an insignificant, an unnoticeable
drop in the great world; that it was my misfortune to be so constituted as
to be incapable of uniting closely and mingling with other drops; and
that, without offending my neighbors, it would be my duty and pleasure to
keep myself distinct from the rest
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