one
shilling, how much would your father be due me at the end of a year?"
"Three pounds," replied Peter slowly. "Nonsense, Peter; think again."
Peter thought again, but again answered as before. "You don't know that
simple sum!" exclaimed the teacher in amazement. "Ay, I ken it weel
enough," responded Peter, "but ye dinna ken my faither."

"Did any of you ever see an elephant's skin?" asked the master of an
infant school. "I have," shouted a six-year-old at the foot of the
class. "Where?" "On the elephant."

A little boy of my acquaintance, while yet a pupil in the infant
department, was one day given a slate more to engage his attention than
aught else. But he had some notion of drawing, and when the teacher came
round she was astonished to find he had set down a fair picture of a
bird on a bough. "Ha! who drew this?" she asked. "Mysel'," was the canny
Scotch reply. "And who's mysel'?" she queried. "Oh, I'm fine," was the
second response, not less Scotch than the first. The English reader, of
course, won't fairly understand the word "fine" as spoken there; but
every Scotsman will, as also how "who's" may be mistaken for "how's."

There is another "fine" story. It was asked of a class, "How did the
Israelites get across the Red Sea?" "Fine," exclaimed a youth with
brightening eyes; "'twas the 'Gyptians was droon'd."

"What do you mean by a temperate region?" asked an inspector of a class,
putting due emphasis on the word temperate. "The region, sir," responded
a boy "where they drinks only temperants drinks."

Not long ago a class of boys were being examined on the different kinds
of wood; and one little chap was asked to name the specimen (a piece of
mahogany) which was held in the examiner's hand. He hesitated, and the
inspector, by way of suggestion, remarked, "Why, don't you know the
materials that your mother's drawers are made of?" This seemed to
simplify the matter, and, amidst a roar of laughter, came the quick
reply--"Flannelette!"

"Name anything friable," said a teacher. "Ham," was the ready answer.

"What is a papal bull?"

"A golden calf."

"What is ice?"

"Water fast asleep."

"What is a skeleton?"

"A man without any meat on it."

A teacher was examining a class on the battle of Bannockburn, and asked,
"Who killed de Bohun?" No one knew. He raised his arm in an attitude of
striking, and yelled, with flashing eyes, "Who killed de Bohun, I say?"
A little fellow near him, who expected the bl