worth?"--and how the lad, who was the son of a fishmonger, hastily
replied--"It wadna be worth a curse!" Salmon at that price, I should
say, would nowhere in these days be esteemed above suspicion anyway.
And boys _will_ be frank even although their replies at times appear
more smart than respectful. Once a Cockney manufacturer was taking part
in a school examination and asked a boy pompously--"W'at's the capital
of 'Olland?" "H," was the unconsciously smart reply given. And that
recalls a good dialect story, under the early Board system, which tells
how an English clergyman and a Lowland Scotsman entered one of the best
schools in Aberdeen. The master received them kindly, and enquired--

"Would you prefer that I should spier (question) the boys, or that you
should spier them?"

The English clergyman desired the master to proceed. He did so with
great success, and the boys answered satisfactorily numerous
interrogatories as to the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt. The
clergyman then said he would be glad to "spier the boys," and at once
began--

"How did Pharaoh die?"

There was a dead silence.

In his dilemma the Lowland gentleman interposed.

"I think, sir, the boys are not accustomed to your English accent; let
me try what I can make of them." And he inquired in broad Scotch--

"Hoo did Phawroah dee?"

Again there was a dead silence, upon which the master said--

"Noo, boys, fat cam' to Phawroah at his hinner end?"

The boys with one voice answered--

"He was drooned."

And a smart little fellow added--

"Ony lassie could hae tell't ye that."

Not unlike the above is a story told by Dr. Ker. The venerable
inspector was one day putting a class "through its facings," and asked a
boy where the River Dee was. The answer came correctly, "In
Aberdeenshire."

"Assuming quite a serious look (says Dr. Ker), I asked him if he was not
mistaken, adding that I thought the Dee was in Kirkcudbright, and flowed
into the Solway Firth. He was a bashful boy, and made no reply. To give
the class a needed fillip, I appealed to them to settle whether I or the
boy was right. To give a verdict against the inspector was, of course,
not to be thought of, and there was silence for a time; but at last a
boy put his hand to his mouth, and said to his neighbour in a stage
whisper not meant for, but which reached my ear--'He disna ken there's
twa Dees.'"

Once by way of stimulant, the doctor asked a somewhat sleepy history