the
_Morning Moonbeam_. I saw PENFOLD laughing immensely.

_Spinks_ (_down on his luck_). Did you? (_Plucking up a bit._) Well, it
"went" capitally. It was only that blessed parrot.

[_Goes off intending to buy several copies of next
morning's "Moonbeam."_

IN FRONT OF THE CURTAIN.

_Mr. Penfold_ (_to his neighbour, a brother journalist_): Are you going to
write anything about this? I have got to do a short notice for the _Morning
Moonbeam_. It's no use abusing these fellows. That's been tried. I'll give
them a little butter this time, and see whether that won't stop them. How
would it do to say something like this?--"We advise the Thespians to keep
clear as much as they can of professionalism. Of course, tradition demands
that the ladies' parts should be played by professionals, but the
introduction of a professional parrot and a professional baby in the First
Act was a mistake, which might have ruined the performance."

[_His Friend nods approval. Exeunt severally. Imagine
tableau next day. Delight of Amateurs on reading the
notice of their performance in the "Moonbeam."_

* * * * *

HOLIDAY CATECHISM.

_Mr. P._ Now little Master JACK HORNER, from your corner in Drury Lane,
what plums do you pick out of the Pantomime?

_Master J. H._ The Hansom Cab and King HARRY (NICHOLLS) returning home
confronted by the Queen, then the GRIFFITHS Cow, the Giant's Dinner and his
Servants, and the Dame LENO'S wonderful Fowl.

_Mr. P._ What else?

_Master J. H._ Lots of things, but at the Circus at Covent Garden, the
Shetland Ponies lovely. They come first, so you must be early.

_Mr. P._ Did you see anything else that pleased you?

_Master J. H._ I should think so. Such a game! Mlle. GOU-GOU quite shocked
my little sister POLLY, by her strange conduct. But when it turned out that
he was a man, how we laughed! It _was_ funny.

_Mr. P._ And I suppose you stayed for the Lion?

_Master J. H._ You may be sure we did! POLLY was a little frightened at
first; but when we found that the Royal Dane Boarhound and the Horse didn't
mind him a bit, why we didn't mind either. Isn't it wonderful? Oh, you
ought to go and see them. They are prime!

* * * * *

BARNUM'S MOTTO.--"_Tout a fait La Shows._"

* * * * *

MUZZLED AND PUZZLED; OR, "LOVE ME, LOVE MY DOG."

(_A Carol of Kentish Conservatism. Some way after