ew
getting on?

_Com.-in-Chief_. First-rate, Sir. Excellent, Sir! Couldn't be better,
Sir!

_Insp.-Gen._ (_dryly_). I have heard those phrases before, your Royal
Highness--especially "couldn't be better"--and found subsequently that
things ought to have been better, very much better, Sir.

_Com.-in-Chief_ (_anxiously_). But I assure you, Sir, that this time
we are doing our level best. Why, Sir, fancy, we are going to have
thirty thousand men under arms! Think of that, Sir--thirty thousand
men!

_Insp.-Gen._ About the numbers of a German Brigade, or is it a
Regiment?

_Com.-in-Chief_ (_with a forced laugh_). Come, Sir, I see you are
joking! Yes, thirty thousand men, and some of them are going down
fully equipped. Why, for instance, the Artists will march the
whole way to the scene of the operations with their own regimental
transport! And so will the 1st London Engineers. Think of that, Sir!

_Insp.-Gen._ And how much have you gentlemen here had to do with that,
Sir? Why, the Volunteers would have been left in a state of utter
unpreparedness had not the public taken the initiative. What did the
War Office and the Horse Guards do towards giving them their kit?

_Com.-in-Chief_. Well, it is all right now, Sir. And we are going
to have a splendid time of it. The idea is that a hostile force has
landed at Deal during the early hours of Monday morning, and--

_Insp.-Gen._ (_interrupting_). Yes, I have read all that in the
papers. But come, tell me who is to command?

_Com.-in.-Chief_ (_rather taken aback_). Well, Sir, the customary
crew. I suppose BILLY SEYMOUR.

_Insp. Gen._ (_severely_). I presume, your Royal Highness, that you
refer to General Lord WILLIAM SEYMOUR, who will be in command at
Dover.

_Com.-in-Chief_ (_abashed_). Certainly, Sir. You are a little
particular to-day, Sir.

_Insp. Gen._ (_gravely_). I am always particular--very
particular--when I have to deal with the Volunteers. Well, Sir,
General Lord WILLIAM SEYMOUR, commands at Dover--proceed, Sir; pray
proceed.

_Com.-in-Chief_. Then, Sir, there's General GOODENOUGH at Maidstone,
and General DAWSON-SCOTT at Chatham.

_Insp.-Gen._ Is he a Volunteer?

_Com.-in-Chief_ (_laughing_). Why no, Sir; of course not, Sir. Why
he's in the Royal Engineers. Although in my Crimean days we never
considered Sappers soldiers. We used to say that--

_Insp.-Gen._ (_severely_). No levity, Sir. And pray who else is to be
in command?

_Com.-in-Chief_. We