Can't say exactly how long we must bide with you,
Help you develope grit, muscle, and pipe;
But we must own you to-day--(though we side with you)--
_Not_ "Cherry Ripe!"

[_Left putting the "Pet" through his paces._

* * * * *

VERY NEAR.--"The man who never makes a mistake, never makes anything," said
Mr. PHELPS, the American Minister, in the course of a farewell after-dinner
speech. Happening to be re-reading Mr. SURTEES' inimitable _Soapy Sponge_,
we find that _Mr. Bragg_, when applying for the situation of Huntsman to
_Mr. Puffington_, remarked, "He, Sir, who never makes an effort, Sir, never
risks a failure," which is just the premiss to Mr. PHELPS'S celebrated
conclusion.

* * * * *

A NUPTIAL PENEDICTION.--"Pless you, my children!" as Sir CORNWALLIS WEST
will say in his best Principality-English to the happy Bride and Bridegroom
on December 8 next.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE "EGYPTIAN PET."

PROFESSOR OF THE NOBLE ART OF SELF-DEFENCE. "NOT UP TO IT YET, YOUNG 'UN."

"We desire that Egypt should be strong enough of herself to repel all
external attack, and to put down all internal disturbance."

_Lord Salisbury's Speech at the Guildhall, November 9th._]

* * * * *

"BY JINGO!"

(_A Military Sketch according to precedent._)

[Illustration: A Call to Arms!]

SCENE--_Sanctum of the_ Coming General. _To him enter_ Intelligent
Foreigner.

_Intelligent Foreigner (politely)._ I trust you will forgive me for
intruding upon you, but the fact is I am very anxious to obtain a few
useful hints for the Government I have the honour to represent.

_Coming General (effusively)._ Oh, certainly. Only too glad to lay down any
work I may have in hand, to tell you everything. Of course you have been
over Woolwich Arsenal and the Dockyards, and no doubt you have--

_Int. For. (interrupting)._ Yes, thanks, I have seen everything, and had
everything explained to me. I do not believe that there is a single
official secret that has not been revealed to me in the kindest manner
possible.

_Com. Gen. (heartily)._ Come, that is as it should be! We like to tell the
whole world what we can do.

_In. For. (drily)._ Exactly, and teach your neighbours how to do it?

_Com. Gen. (gazing at his neglected work)._ But if you know everything, why
do you come to me?

_In. For