PET."

["We desire that Egypt should he strong enough of herself to repel all
external attack, and to put down all internal disturbance."--_Lord
Salisbury at the Guildhall._]

_Professor of the Noble Art of Self-Defence (the "Pet's" Trainer),
loquitur_:--

Change in _my_ attitude? Nay, not a bit of it!
Like JOAN'S true DARBY I'm "always the same."
Parties may flout, but I can't see the wit of it;
Surely they ought to be fly to my game.
Such "disquisitions" are strangely unfortunate,
Pain us extremely, delighting our foes;
Worry one too, like a busy, importunate
Fly on one's nose.

Don't know the play of our pugilist system, "Pet,"
Parties abroad who give heed to such chat.
Rival lot out of it; nobody's missed 'em, "Pet,"
(Nobody ever knew what _they'd_ be at).
Now, in position of much "greater freedom," "Pet,"
Fancy they'll badger _me_ into a hole.
One thing is certain, nobody will heed 'em, "Pet,"
_Poor little soul!_

_They_ were nice trainers and backers for you, my lad.
Pretty nigh muffed any small chance you'd got.
Square up those shoulders a little bit, _do_, my lad!
That form won't put in a slommocking shot.
Their fumbling style and contemptible flabbiness
Clings to you yet. Ah! thanks be, you've changed hands.
They'd crab our swim, but the Old Scuttler's shabbiness
BULL understands.

_We_ didn't bring you out, put you in training, "Pet,"
Or crack you up as the Coming Young Copt.
(Straighten up, boy! Such corkscrewing and craning, "Pet,"
Never a rib-roasting wunner in-popt.)
No, you 're a legacy! Would not deceive you, "Pet,"
You are a stick, and have cost a good bit.
Still we have charge of, and don't mean to leave you, "Pet,"
Till you are "fit."

Biceps? Ah, verily, feeling your muscle, "Pet,"
Isn't a job that brings SANDOW to mind.
Where would you be in a real hard tussle, "Pet"?
You're not a Pug of the wear-and-tear kind.
Foes many menace you. Champions, boy, you know,
Challenge all comers; they _have_ to--you bet.
When you can do so, I'll leave you with joy, you know.
But--'tisn't yet!

Thanks to our care, you're improving, my "Pet," a bit.
Promising Novice, of that there's no doubt.
But up to Champion form? No, not yet a bit.
Just try that on, and you'll soon get knocked out.