onal. They are the humble
servants of our necessity. Two eyes are necessary for us to get about our
business, and so we fall in love with two eyes, and the more perfect they
are for their work the more we fall in love with them, and the more
beautiful we declare them to be.

I think that Peggy, nursing her one-eyed cat there in the sun, has not yet
accepted our creed of beauty. She will be as conventional as the rest of us
when her frocks are longer.

ON THE PHILOSOPHY OF HATS

The other day I went into a hatter's to get my hat ironed. It had been
ruffled by the weather, and I had a reason for wishing it to look as new
and glossy as possible. And as I waited and watched the process of
polishing, the hatter talked to me on the subject that really interested
him--that is, the subject of hats and heads.

"Yes," said he, in reply to some remark I had made; "there's a wonderful
difference in the shape of 'eads _and_ the size. Now your 'ead is what you
may call an ord'nary 'ead. I mean to say," he added, no doubt seeing a
shadow of disappointment pass across my ordinary face, "I mean to say, it
ain't what you would call extry-ord'nary. But there's some 'eads--well,
look at that 'at there. It belongs to a gentleman with a wonderful
funny-shaped 'ead, long and narrer and full of nobbles--'stror'nary 'ead 'e
'as. And as for sizes, it's wonderful what a difference there is. I do a
lot of trade with lawyers, and it's astonishing the size of their 'eads.
You'd be surprised. I suppose it's the amount of thinking they have to do
that makes their 'eads swell. Now that 'at there belongs to Mr. ------
(mentioning the name of a famous lawyer), wonderful big 'ead 'e
'as--7-1/2--that's what 'e takes, and there's lots of 'em takes over 7.

"It seems to me," he went on, "that the size of the 'ead is according to
the occupation. Now I used to be in a seaport town, and I used to serve a
lot of ships' captains. 'Stror'nary the 'eads they have. I suppose it's the
anxiety and worry they get, thinking about the tides and the winds and the
icebergs and things...."

I went out of the shop with my ord'nary 'ead, conscious of the fact that I
had made a poor impression on the hatter. To him I was only a 6-7/8 size,
and consequently a person of no consequence. I should have liked to point
out to him that it is not always the big heads that have the jewel in them.
Of course, it is true that great men often have big heads. Bismarck's size
wa