t in and another for the consuls. The Burtons were told
not to go into the consular room, but into the ministers' room. When,
however, they got to the door the officials refused to let them pass.

"This is the ministers' room," they said, "You cannot come here."

"Well, where am I to go?" enquired Burton.

Mrs. Burton stood fuming with indignation at the sight of the stream of
nonentities who passed in without question, but Burton cried, "Wait a
moment, my darling. I've come to see the Emperor, and see the Emperor I
will."

So he sent in his card and a message.

"What!" cried the Emperor, "a man like Burton excluded. Bring him to
me at once." So Burton and his wife were conducted to the Emperor and
Empress, to whom Burton talked so interestingly, that they forgot all
about the dinner. Meanwhile flunkeys kept moving in and out, anxiety
on their faces--the princes, ambassadors and other folk were waiting,
dinner was waiting; and the high functionaries and dinner were kept
waiting for half an hour. "Well, I've had my revenge," said Burton to
his wife when the interview was over. "Only think of those starving
brutes downstairs; but I'm sorry on your account I behaved as I did, for
it will go against all your future 'at homes.'" At dinner the Emperor
and the Empress were most attentive to the Burtons and the Empress gave
Mrs. Burton a beautiful diamond bracelet. [215]

Among Burton's admirers was a Rio gentleman named Cox, who had a mansion
near the city. One day Mr. Cox arranged a grand dinner party and invited
all his friends to meet the famous traveller. Burton arrived early, but
presently disappeared. By and by the other guests streamed in, and after
amusing themselves for a little while about the grounds they began
to enquire for Burton. But no Burton was to be seen. At last someone
happened to look up the highest tree in the compound and there was the
guest of the day high among the branches squatting like a monkey. He had
got up there, he said, to have a little peace, and to keep on with the
book he was writing about Brazil. He came down, however, when the lunch
bell rang, for though he grumbled at all other noises, he maintained
that, somehow that sound always had a peculiar sweetness.

Wit and humour, wherever found, never failed to please Burton, and a
remark which he heard in a Brazilian police court and uttered by the
presiding magistrate, who, was one of his friends, particularly tickled
him:

"Who is t