froze,
While he took to teasing, and cruelly tose
The girl he had wished to be squeezing and squoze.

"Wretch!" he cried, when she threatened to leave him, and left,
"How could you deceive me, as you have deceft?"
And she answered, "I promised to cleave, and I've cleft!"

PLODDING CHANGES.--Some of our plodding readers may like to peruse the
following curious variations of the well-known line from Gray's "Elegy,"
"The ploughman homeward plods his weary way":

The weary ploughman homeward plods his way.

The weary ploughman plods his homeward way.

The homeward ploughman plods his weary way.

The homeward ploughman, weary, plods his way.

The homeward, weary, ploughman plods his way.

The weary, homeward ploughman plods his way.

Homeward the weary ploughman plods his way.

Homeward, weary, the ploughman plods his way.

Homeward the ploughman plods his weary way.

Homeward the ploughman, weary, plods his way.

Weary, the homeward ploughman plods his way.

Weary, homeward the ploughman plods his way.

Weary, the ploughman plods his homeward way.

The ploughman plods his homeward, weary way.

The ploughman plods his weary homeward way.

The ploughman homeward, weary, plods his way.

The ploughman, weary, homeward plods his way.

The ploughman, weary, plods his homeward way.

"My Madeline! My Madeline!
Mark my melodious midnight moans;
Much may my melting music mean,
My modulated monotones.

"My mandolin's mild minstrelsy,
My mental music magazine,
My mouth, my mind, my memory,
Must mingling murmur, 'Madeline.'

"Muster 'mid midnight masquerades,
Mark Moorish maidens', matrons' mien,
'Mongst Murcia's most majestic maids,
Match me my matchless Madeline.

"Mankind's malevolence may make
Much melancholy music mine;
Many my motives may mistake,
My modest merits much malign.

"My Madeline's most mirthful mood
Much mollifies my mind's machine;
My mournfulness' magnitude
Melts--makes me merry, Madeline!

"Match-making mas may machinate,
Manoeuvring misses me misween;
Mere money may make many mate,
My magic motto's--'Madeline!'

"Melt, most mellifluous melody,
'Midst Murcia's misty mounts marine,
Meet me by moonlight--marry me,
Madonna mia!--Madeline."

It is well known that the letter _e_ is used more than any other letter
in the English alphabet. Each of the following verses contains every
letter of the alphabet excep