by C. F. Adams, inspired by an unusual
flow of animal spirits:

No sweeter girl ewe ever gnu
Than Betty Martin's daughter Sue.

With sable hare, small tapir waist,
And lips you'd gopher miles to taste;

Bright, lambent eyes, like the gazelle,
Sheep pertly brought to bear so well;

Ape pretty lass it was avowed,
Of whom her marmot to be proud.

Deer girl! I loved her as my life,
And vowed to heifer for my wife.

Alas! A sailor on the sly,
Had cast on her his wether eye.

He said my love for her was bosh,
And my affection I musquash.

He'd dog her footsteps everywhere,
Anteater in the easy-chair;

He'd setter round, this sailor chap,
And pointer out upon the map

Where once a pirate cruiser boar
Him captive to a foreign shore.

The cruel captain far outdid
The yaks and crimes of Robert Kid.

He oft would whale Jack with the cat,
And say, "My buck, doe you like that?

"What makes you stag around so, say?
The catamounts to something, hey?"

Then he would seal it with an oath,
And say: "You are a lazy sloth!

"I'll starve you down, my sailor fine,
Until for beef and porcupine!"

And, fairly horse with fiendish laughter,
Would say, "Henceforth, mind what giraffe ter!"

In short, the many risks he ran
Might well a llama braver man;

Then he was wrecked and castor shore
While feebly clinging to anoa;

Hyena cleft among the rocks
He crept, _sans_ shoes and minus ox.

And when he fain would go to bed,
He had to lion leaves instead.

Then Sue would say, with troubled face,
"How koodoo live in such a place?"

And straightway into tears would melt,
And say, "How badger must have felt!"

While he, the brute, woodchuck her chin,
And say, "Aye-aye, my lass!" and grin.

Excuse these steers.... It's over now;
There's naught like grief the hart can cow.

Jackass'd her to be his, and she--
She gave Jackal, and jilted me.

And now, alas! the little minks
Is bound to him with Hymen's lynx.

--_Detroit Free Press._

While upon the subject of puns, we might quote the following, clipped
from the "Graphic":

"On being consulted about it Spikes says that Uncle Sam aunticipates the
transfer of the Indian Bureau to some mother department, and if this
should father improve the condition of the children of the forest, in
sondry ways, by cousin them to be more comfortable, it would be a niece