in breeches!"

He had Apartments up two pair of stairs;
On the first floor lodge'd Doctor Crow;--
The Landlord was a torturer of hairs,
And made a grand display of wigs, below;
From the beau's Brutus, to the parson's grizzle:--
Over the door-way was his name;--'twas Twizzle.

Now, you must know,
This Doctor Crow
Was not of Law, nor Music, nor Divinity;--
He was _obstetrick_;--but, the fact is,
He didn't in Lucina's _turnpike_ practise;
He took _bye-roads_,--reducing Ladies' shapes,
Who had secure'd themselves from leading apes,
But kept the reputation of virginity.

Crow had a roomy tenement of brick,
Enclose'd with walls, one mile from Hyde Park corner;
Fir trees, and yews, were planted round it, thick;--
No situation was _forlorner_![15]
Yet, notwithstanding folks might scout it,
It suited qualmish Spinsters, who fell sick,
And didn't wish the world to know about it.

[15] This seems to be a _new comparative_; for which the Author
takes to himself due credit;--Novelty being scarce in poetical
compositions.

Here many a single gentlewoman came,
_Pro tempore_,--full tender of her fame!
Who, for a while, took leave of friends in town;--
"Business, forsooth! to Yorkshire call'd her down,
Too weighty to be settle'd by Attorney!"--
And, in a month's, or six weeks' time, came back!
When every body cried, "Good lack!
How monstrous _thin_ you've grown, upon your journey!"

The Doctor, knowing that a puff of Scandal
Would blow his private trade to tatters,
Dreaded to give the smallest handle
To those who dabble in their neighbours' matters;
Therefore, he wisely held it good
To hide his practice from the neighbourhood,
And not appear, there, as a resident;
But merely one who, casually, went
To see the lodgers in the large brick house;--
To lounge, and chat, not minding time a souse;--
Like one to whom all business was quite foreign;--
And, thus, he visited his female sick;
Who lay as thick,
Within his tenement of brick,
As rabbits in a warren.

He lodge'd in Covent Garden all the while,
And, if they sent, in haste, for his assistance,
He soon was with 'em;--'twas no mighty distance;--
From the town's end it was but a bare mile.

Now Isaac Shove
Living above
This Doctor Crow,
And knowing Barber Twizz