ds with.

When dinner was served a huge looking-glass was flung at my feet, where
it shattered into a thousand fragments with a tremendous crash, giving
one a shock so far removed from any superstitious feeling as to act on
one as an appetiser before dinner.

Then whilst everybody else is enjoying his dinner without let or
hindrance, the poor Chairman has to hold himself prepared for various
surprises. Telegrams of all sorts and descriptions were handed to me.

But perhaps the most interesting of all the postal and telegraph
deliveries brought me during the dinner was a letter from my old and
valued friend "'Arry" of _Punch_, who had accepted an invitation, and
was to have proposed the health of the Chairman, but unfortunately was
laid up with a sore throat:

"Try and make my kind and would-be hosts understand that as 'Arry
would say, there is 'no kid about this.' I enclose a few doggerel
verses penned painfully on a pad perched on a pillow, which--if you
can read 'em--you are welcome to do so.

"My elbow's sore
And so no more
At present, from yore
Old friend (and bore)

"E. J. MILLIKEN."

Here is the "painfully-penned" doggerel:--

"13 _Jany._, 1894.

"THE LOST (VOCAL) CHORDS.

"Lying to-day on my pillow, I am weary and ill at ease,
And the Gargles fail to soothe me,
And the Inhalations tease. I know not what is the matter;
To swallow is perfect pain,
And my Vocal Chords seem palsied!--
Shall I ever use them again?

"So I _can't_ propose your health, friend,
Or drink to the 'Thirteen's' luck.
_I_ must dine on--Eucalyptus,
And Sulphur, or some such muck.
_I_ have no Salt to be spilling;
_My_ only knife is a spoon;
And I have not the smallest notion
If there is, or isn't, a Moon!

"But I picture you on your legs, there,
And the 'Thirteens' ranged around;
And I feel I _could_ sound your praises,
If these Vocal Chords _would_ sound.
But I know that in guttural gurgling
The point of my jokes you would miss;
If I tried to lead the cheers, friend,
_My_ 'hooray' you'd take for a hiss.

"So 'tis just as well as it is, friend,
And doubtless 'the other chap'
Will do you the fullest justice;
So I'll turn and try for a nap.
But before I resume my gargle,
And my throttle with unguents rub,
I'll drink--in a glass of Thirteen port--
To the he