[Illustration: "A la Cocotte?"]

AT A VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT.

SCENE--_"The Nebuchadnezzar's Head," in the City. Time--The luncheon
hour. The interior, which is bright, and tastefully arranged, is crowded
with the graminivorous of both sexes. Clerks of a literary turn devour
"The Fortnightly" and porridge alternately, or discuss the comparative
merits of modern writers. Lady-clerks lunch sumptuously and economically
on tea and baked ginger-pudding. Trim Waitresses move about with a sweet
but slightly mystic benignity, as conscious of conducting a dietetic
mission to the dyspeptic._

_A Vegetarian Fiance_ (_who has met his betrothed by appointment, and is
initiating her into the mysteries_). I wish you'd take something more
than a mustard-and-cress roll, though, LOUISE--it gives you such a poor
_idea_ of the thing. (_With honest pride._) You just see me put away
this plate of porridge. At the "Young Daniel," where I usually lunch,
they give you twice the quantity of stuff they do here.

_Louise_ (_admiringly_). I'm so glad I've seen you lunch. Now I shall be
able to fancy every day exactly what you are having.

_Her Fiance_ (_to assist her imagination_). Mind you, I don't _always_
have porridge. Sometimes it's mushroom croquettes, or turnip and onion
rissoles,--whatever's going. Now yesterday, for instance, I had----

[_He details exactly what he had, and she listens to
these moving episodes with the rapt interest of a
Desdemona._

_First Literary Clerk._ No; but look here, you don't take my _point_.
I'm not running down SWINBURNE--all I'm arguing is, he couldn't have
written some of the things BROWNING did.

_Second L. C._ Of course not--when BROWNING had written them--_that's_
nothing against him.

_First L. C._ (_warmly_). I'm not saying it _is_. I'm telling you the
difference between the two men--now BROWNING, he makes you _think_!

_Second L. C._ He never made _me_ think, that's all _I_ know.

_Third L. C._ Nor yet me. Now, 'ERBERT SPENCER, he _does_ make you
think, if you like!

_First L. C._ Now you're getting on to something else. The grand fault I
find with SWINBURNE, is----

_Second L. C._ Hold hard a bit. Have you read him?

_Third L. C._ Yes, let's 'ave that first. 'Ave you _read_ 'im?

_First L. C._ (_with dignity_). I've read as much of him as I care to.

_Second L. C._ (_aggressively_). What have you read of his? Name it.

_First L. C._ I've read his _Atlantis in Caledoni