-he was a Home-Ruler and a
Baptist--and gave four porters half-a-crown apiece for lifting our
luggage on to the roof of a cab. I also handed a newsboy sixpence for a
copy of the local bi-weekly organ which supported our cause, and
tendered half-a-sovereign in payment for a bunch of violets and
primroses--our party colours in this district were purple and
gold--which were proffered me outside the station by an ancient
flower-selling dame who, Cash hissed into my ear, happened to be the
mother of four strapping and fully-enfranchised sons; and presented an
unwashed stranger who was holding open the cab door for us with a token
of affection and esteem which could readily be commuted into several
hours' beer.

On arriving at the hotel I handed the cabman a fare roughly equivalent
to the cash value of the cab, and then proceeded to distribute largesse
to a crowd of menials who kindly undertook the task of lifting the
luggage from the roof and conveying it to our rooms. The horse, having
no vote, received no pecuniary return for its labours, but was rewarded
for its devotion to Conservative principles by a lump of sugar, which
Phillis had been tightly holding in a moist hand ever since Cash had
handed it to her at the station--a pretty and thoughtful act of
disinterested kindness which was duly noted in the _Stoneleigh Herald_
next morning, and effectually secured the votes of several elusive but
sentimental wobblers on polling day.

After this unostentatious entry into my constituency I duly established
myself in my apartments, where I spent most of the afternoon writing
cheques. The restoration of the North Transept proved to be in an even
more deplorable state of backwardness than I had feared; but the Dean
ultimately left me with the utmost expressions of goodwill, promising to
reassure the most exacting spirits in Cathedral society as to my
soundness on the questions of (1) Disestablishment and (2) Secular
Education in Elementary Schools.

Thereafter I received the captain of the local football team, who begged
to remind me that my subscription of five guineas, as Honorary
Vice-President of the club, was now due, and further requested that I
would do himself and colleagues the honour of kicking-off in the match
against the Scrappington Hotstuffs on Saturday week. (Saturday next, I
heard afterwards, had been reserved for my rival.) He finally departed
with my cheque in his pocket, and, I expect, his tongue in his cheek