hat's why I want to go," said my daughter frankly. "Besides, I do
_love_ pantomimes--especially the clowns!" She wriggled ecstatically.

Even the revelation of the plain truth--that the pantomime would be
called by another name and the clowns would appear in mufti--failed to
assuage Phillis's thirst for the dramatic sensation promised by a
meeting in a theatre. I was, as usual, wax in her small hands; and,
man-like, I threw the _onus negandi_ upon Eve's shoulders.

"Ask your mother," I said; and flew to my day's work.

Thank goodness, it was almost the last. To-morrow would be the eve of
the poll, and at night we were to hold our monster meeting. Three
thousand people would be present; a local magnate, Sir Thomas Wurzel (of
Heycocks), would occupy the chair; what one of our local reporters
insisted on calling "the _elite_ of the _bon ton_" would be ranged upon
the platform; and the meeting would be addressed by John Champion,
Robin,--they always wanted him now,--and the much-enduring Candidate.
The audience would, further, be made the recipients of a few remarks
from the Chair and (unless something providential happened) from
Dubberley, who was to second a vote of thanks to somebody--a performance
which might take anything up to fifty minutes. Altogether a feast of
oratory, and a further proof, if any were needed, that the English are a
hardy race.

Phillis was decidedly unwell next morning, and Kitty prescribed bed. I
am inclined to be an anxious parent, but there was little time for the
exercise of any natural instincts on this occasion. Hounded on by the
relentless Cash, I spent the day in a final house-to-house canvass,
being fortunate enough to find at home several gentlemen who had been
out on previous occasions, and who now graciously permitted Kitty to
present them with a resplendent portrait of what at first sight appeared
to be a hairdresser's assistant in gala costume, but which an obtrusive
inscription below proclaimed to be "Inglethwaite! The Man You Know, and
Who Knows You!"

After a hasty round of the Committee Rooms I returned to our hostelry,
the Cathedral Arms, where, after disposing of two reporters who wanted
an advance copy of my evening's speech, and having effusively thanked a
pompous individual for a sheaf of statistics on a subject which I cannot
recall, but in which no one outside an asylum could have reasonably been
expected to take any interest whatever, and which I was at liberty to
quo