Blomsberry; "no such luck! No, not one of
those incidents will happen; and if one did, it would be of no use to
us. American sensitiveness is declining daily, and we are going to the
dogs!"

"Yes, we are growing quite humble," replied Bilsby.

"And we are humiliated!" answered Tom Hunter.

"All that is only too true," replied J.T. Maston, with fresh vehemence.
"There are a thousand reasons for fighting floating about, and still we
don't fight! We economise legs and arms, and that to the profit of folks
that don't know what to do with them. Look here, without looking any
farther for a motive for war, did not North America formerly belong to
the English?"

"Doubtless," answered Tom Hunter, angrily poking the fire with the end
of his crutch.

"Well," replied J.T. Maston, "why should not England in its turn belong
to the Americans?"

"It would be but justice," answered Colonel Blomsberry.

"Go and propose that to the President of the United States," cried J.T.
Maston, "and see what sort of a reception you would get."

"It would not be a bad reception," murmured Bilsby between the four
teeth he had saved from battle.

"I'faith," cried J.T. Maston, "they need not count upon my vote in the
next elections."

"Nor upon ours," answered with common accord these bellicose invalids.

"In the meantime," continued J.T. Maston, "and to conclude, if they do
not furnish me with the opportunity of trying my new mortar on a real
battle-field, I shall send in my resignation as member of the Gun Club,
and I shall go and bury myself in the backwoods of Arkansas."

"We will follow you there," answered the interlocutors of the
enterprising J.T. Maston.

Things had come to that pass, and the club, getting more excited, was
menaced with approaching dissolution, when an unexpected event came to
prevent so regrettable a catastrophe.

The very day after the foregoing conversation each member of the club
received a circular couched in these terms:--

"Baltimore, October 3rd.

"The president of the Gun Club has the honour to inform his colleagues
that at the meeting on the 5th ultimo he will make them a communication
of an extremely interesting nature. He therefore begs that they, to the
suspension of all other business, will attend, in accordance with the
present invitation,

"Their devoted colleague,

"IMPEY BARBICANE, P.G.C."

CHAPTER II.

PRESIDENT BARBICANE'S COMMUNICATION.

On the 5th of October, at 8 p.m.,