isdom of our
ancestors has placed you as a chief and hereditary legislator over me.
Our admirable Constitution (the pride of Britons and envy of surrounding
nations) obliges me to receive you as my senator, superior, and
guardian. Your eldest son, Fitz-Heehaw, is sure of a place in
Parliament; your younger sons, the De Brays, will kindly condescend
to be post-captains and lieutenants-colonels, and to represent us in
foreign courts or to take a good living when it falls convenient.
These prizes our admirable Constitution (the pride and envy of, &c.)
pronounces to be your due: without count of your dulness, your vices,
your selfishness; or your entire incapacity and folly. Dull as you may
be (and we have as good a right to assume that my lord is an ass, as the
other proposition, that he is an enlightened patriot);--dull, I say,
as you may be, no one will accuse you of such monstrous folly, as to
suppose that you are indifferent to the good luck which you possess, or
have any inclination to part with it. No--and patriots as we are, under
happier circumstances, Smith and I, I have no doubt, were we dukes
ourselves, would stand by our order.

We would submit good-naturedly to sit in a high place. We would
acquiesce in that admirable Constitution (pride and envy of, &c.)
which made us chiefs and the world our inferiors; we would not cavil
particularly at that notion of hereditary superiority which brought many
simple people cringing to our knees. May be we would rally round the
Corn-Laws; we would make a stand against the Reform Bill; we would die
rather than repeal the Acts against Catholics and Dissenters; we would,
by our noble system of class-legislation, bring Ireland to its present
admirable condition.

But Smith and I are not Earls as yet. 'We don't believe that it is
for the interest of Smith's army that De Bray should be a Colonel at
five-and-twenty, of Smith's diplomatic relations that Lord Longears
should go Ambassador to Constantinople,--of our politics, that Longears
should put his hereditary foot into them.

This bowing and cringing Smith believes to be the act of Snobs; and he
will do all in his might and main to be a Snob and to submit to Snobs
no longer. To Longears he says, 'We can't help seeing, Longears, that
we are as good as you. We can spell even better; can think quite as
rightly; we will not have you for our master, or black your shoes any
more. Your footmen do it, but they are paid; and the fellow