ce of wonder and
horror, only to be equalled by the look of stupefied astonishment which
ornamented the purple countenance of his master.

'Wawt taim will you please have the CAGE, sir?' says What-d'ye-call'um,
in that peculiar, unspellable, inimitable, flunkefied pronunciation
which forms one of the chief charms of existence.

Best have it to the theatre at night,' Gray exclaims; 'it is but a step
from here to the Wells, and we can walk there. I've got tickets for all.
Be at Sadler's Wells at eleven.'

'Yes, at eleven,' exclaims Goldmore, perturbedly, and walks with a
flurried step into the house, as if he were going to execution (as
indeed he was, with that wicked Gray as a Jack Ketch over him). The
carriage drove away, followed by numberless eyes from doorsteps and
balconies; its appearance is still a wonder in Bittlestone Street.

'Go in there, and amuse yourself with Snob,' says Gray, opening the
little drawing-room door. 'I'll call out as soon as the chops are ready.
Fanny's below, seeing to the pudding.'

'Gracious mercy!' says Goldmore to me, quite confidentially, 'how could
he ask us? I really had no idea of this--this utter destitution.'

'Dinner, dinner!' roars out Gray, from the diningroom, whence issued a
great smoking and frying; and entering that apartment we find Mrs. Gray
ready to receive us, and looking perfectly like a Princess who, by
some accident, had a bowl of potatoes in her hand, which vegetables she
placed on the table. Her husband 'was meanwhile cooking mutton-chops on
a gridiron over the fire.

Fanny has made the roly-poly pudding,' says he; the chops are my part.
Here's a fine one; try this, Goldmore.' And he popped a fizzing cutlet
on that gentleman's plate. What words, what notes of exclamation can
describe the nabob's astonishment?

The tablecloth was a very old one, darned in a score places. There was
mustard in a teacup, a silver fork for Goldmore--all ours were iron.

'I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth,' says Gray, gravely.
'That fork is the only one we have. Fanny has it generally.'

'Raymond!'--cries Mrs. Gray, with an imploring face. 'She was used to
better things, you know: and I hope one day to get her a dinner-service.
I'm told the electro-plate is uncommonly good. Where the deuce IS
that boy with the beer? And now,' said he, springing up, 'I'll be a
gentleman.' And so he put on his coat, and sat down quite gravely, with
four fresh mutton-chops which he had