de their darling Wellesley give
a full, true, and particular account of everything that had taken place
at Lord Fitzstultz's; how many servants waited at dinner; and how the
Ladies Schneider dressed; and what his Royal Highness said when he came
down to shoot; and who was there? "What a blessing that boy is to me!"
said she, as my pimple-faced young friend moved off to resume smoking
operations with Gules in the now vacant kitchen;--and poor Ponto's
dreary and desperate look, shall I ever forget that?

O you parents and guardians! O you men and women of sense in England! O
you legislators about to assemble in Parliament! read over that tailor's
bill above printed, read over that absurd catalogue of insane gimcracks
and madman's tomfoolery--and say how are you ever to get rid of
Snobbishness when society does so much for its education?

Three hundred and forty pounds for a young chap's saddle and breeches!
Before George, I would rather be a Hottentot or a Highlander. We laugh
at poor Jocko, the monkey, dancing in uniform; or at poor Jeames, the
flunkey, with his quivering calves and plush tights; or at the nigger
Marquis of Marmalade, dressed out with sabre and epaulets, and giving
himself the airs of a field-marshal. Lo! is not one of the Queen's
Pyebalds, in full fig, as great and foolish a monster?

CHAPTER XXX--ON SOME COUNTRY SNOBS

At last came that fortunate day at the Evergreens, when I was to be made
acquainted with some of the 'county families' with whom only people of
Ponto's rank condescended to associate. And now, although poor Ponto had
just been so cruelly made to bleed on occasion of his son's new uniform,
and though he was in the direst and most cut-throat spirits with an
overdrawn account at the banker's, and other pressing evils of poverty;
although a tenpenny bottle of Marsala and an awful parsimony presided
generally at his table, yet the poor fellow was obliged to assume
the most frank and jovial air of cordiality; and all the covers being
removed from the hangings, and new dresses being procured for the young
ladies, and the family plate being unlocked and displayed, the house
and all within assumed a benevolent and festive appearance. The
kitchen fires began to blaze, the good wine ascended from the cellar,
a professed cook actually came over from Guttlebury to compile culinary
abominations. Stripes was in a new coat, and so was Ponto, for a wonder,
and Tummus's button-suit was worn EN PERM