oon!

(_Curtain._)

There, _Mr. Punch_! If that would not overwhelm the Stalls and Boxes with
painful emotion, and bring down the Pit and Gallery with thunders of
applause, I am a Dutchman!

Yours obediently,
GARRICK SHAKSPEARE SNOOKS.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ON THE FREE LIST.]

* * * * *

MARY-ANNER ON THE COMING MODE.

["That there is much to be said for crinoline on hygienic grounds, and
on those of cleanliness, must be obvious to its most prejudiced
opponents."--Lady JEUNE "_In Defence of Crinoline_."]

DEAR POLLY,--This comes hooping--I mean hoping, as you're heard,
As the QUEEN and the PRINCESS O' WALES declines to be absurd,
And put their foot in it--dear me!--I mean to put it down
Upon the coming Crinerline! A-arsting of the Crown
To hinterfere with hus, dear,--wich I means the female sect,--
In our Fashions, is fair himperence. But, wot _can_ yer expect
From parties--wich they may be litterary, or may _not_--
As carn't see any beauty in balloon-skirts? Reglar rot!
I'm a-pinin' for it, POLLY, wich in course, my dear, I mean
That convenient, cleanly cover-all, wot's called the Crinerline!
_It hides so much_, my POLLY; wich I'm sure, my dear, you'll twig!
As dear Lady JUNE informs hus, the too-little or too-big,
The scraggy and the crummy ones, the lanky 'uns and the lumps,
Will be grateful for a fashion as is kind to bones and 'umps.
Eel-skin skirts may suit the swells, dear, and the straight, and slim,
and tall,
And--well, them whose wardrobe's plentiful; they don't suit _me_ at all;
Wich I'm four-foot-ten and stoutish, as to you is well beknown;
I'm a bit short in the legs like, my limbs do _not_ run to bone.
Now my purse won't run to petticuts and cetrer _hevery_ week,
As a pound a month won't do it. Ho! it's like their blessed cheek,
Missis JOHN STRANGE WINTER'S Ammyzons as Lady JUNE remarks--
To swear Crinerline is "ojus," dear, and 'idjous. 'Twill be larks
To see _them_ a wearin 'ooped-skirts, as in course they're bound to do,
When they fair become the fashion. Yus, for all their bubbaroo.
The seving thousand Leaguers, and their Leader will cave in,
And wear wot now they swear is jest a shame, dear, and a sin.
I do not care a snap wot the opinion of the men is,
Nor yet for the hesthetecks, nor the toffs as play at Tennis;
I sez 'Ooped Skirts for