're only
_exposing_ yourself by talking of what you know nothing about. Surely you
know that Peers _aren't_ elected!

_Lord Strath._ I was under the impression they were--in Scotland; but it's
not worth arguing about.

_Uncle Gab._ You're evading the point, my Lord. I'm trying to put plain
sense----

_Lord Strath._ (_wearily_). I know--but--er--_why_ try? Wouldn't plain
nonsense be rather more amusing--at dinner, don't you know?

_Uncle Gab._ (_stormily_). Don't think you're going to ride roughshod over
_me_, my Lord! If you think yourself above your company----

_Lord Strath._ I assure you I've no idea what I've said or done to offend
you, Sir. It was perfectly unintentional on my part.

_Uncle Gab._ (_relaxing_). In that case, my Lord, no further apology is
needed. I--ah--accept the olive-branch!

_Lord Strath._ By all means--if I may trouble you for the olives.

_Uncle Gab._ (_effusively_). With all the pleasure in life, my Lord. And,
without withdrawing in any sort or kind from any of my general opinions, I
think I express the sentiment of all present when I say how deeply we feel
the honour----

_Lord Strath._ (_to himself_). Good Lord--he's going to make a speech now!
(_Little_ GWENDOLEN _enters demurely and draws up a chair between his and
her mother's_.) Saved, by Jove! Child to the rescue? (_To her._) So you're
going to sit next to me, eh? That's right! Now what shall I get you--some
of those grapes?

_Gwen._ No, a baby orange with silver paper round it, please. What is it,
Miss SEATON? [_She rises and goes to Miss S._

_Miss Seaton_ (_whispering_). Now, darling, be careful--you know what I
told you--you mustn't tell tales or repeat things!

_Gwen._ Not even if I'm asked, Miss SEATON?... No?... Would _you_ be
displeased? Then I won't. (_Returning to her seat and addressing Lord S.
confidentially._) Do you know why I've come to sit next to _you_? Because I
want to see how you behave. You aren't just like one of our regular
dinner-party guests, _are_ you, you know?

_Lord Strath._ (_humbly_). I'm afraid not, my dear; but you'll be kind to
me for all that, won't you?

_Gwen._ (_primly_). Miss SEATON says we should never be unkind to anybody,
_whatever_ their position is. And _I_ think you're rather nice. I wish Papa
would have you to dine with us often, but perhaps you're expensive?

_Lord Strath._ (_laughing_). I don't know, Miss GWENNIE, I've been feeling
uncommonly cheap all the evening!

_G