109. Wonderful! VAN DYCK'S "_Burgomaster Triest_." As the eminent
critic and punster, JOSEPH VON MUeLLER, observed to VAN DYCK, "DYCK, my boy,
thou wilt never paint a better than this _Burgomaster of Triest_ if thou
Tri-est ever so!"

Then quoth my companion, "Come to the BLAKE Collection." Ahem! Into the
Black-and-White Room. Ugh!... "That way madness lies." No more to-day,
thank you.

* * * * *

BEASTLY SUPERIORITY.--(_Konundrum by the "Boxing Kangaroo," on hearing of
the "Wrestling Lion."_)--What is tamer than a tame lion? Why, of course, a
Lion Tamer.

* * * * *

VALENTINE VERSES.

(_An Apology accompanying a Purse._)

Do you like it? I wonder! Or think you it's stupid
To send such a commonplace gift as a Purse?
Do you sigh for the tinsel, and gauze, and the Cupid,
And the wonderful sentiments written in verse?
Well, suppose I had sent them. You'd murmur, "How pretty!"
Then not see them again as you put them away.
Shall I candidly tell you I thought 'twere a pity
Just to send you a gift that would last for a day?

But consider the times and the seasons--how many!
When a purse--something in it--will save you from fuss.
When you're posting a letter (to me), or a penny
You may want for a paper, a tram, or a 'bus.
When you've done with the purse, as you carefully lock it,
And look with all proper precaution to see
That the gold is still there, as it goes in your pocket,
Let a thought or two, sweetheart, come straying to me.

I've explained as I could. Do you still go on sighing
For the commoner Valentine--tinsel and gauze,
With the pictures of wonderful cherubim flying
In a reckless defiance of natural laws?
If you do--well, forgive me. Don't think me unkind. You
Know I'd not treat yourself in so heartless a style,
And so let this gift, as you use it, remind you
Of one whom you won, my dear, outright, with your smile.

* * * * *

SIR WILLIAM HARCOURT suggests that "Parish Councils will do everything for
the distressed Agriculturists." Sir WILLIAM should advertise the remedy out
of his Farmercopoeia--"Try Parish's Food for Agricultural Infants in
distress."

* * * * *

A MEERY JEST.--Said the AMEER to an English friend, "Yes, I am uncertain of
my position. I _Am 'eer_ to-day and gone to-morrow."

*