you run across Mr.
Muffin, William Roscoe Thayer, James Ford Rhodes, President
Eliot--these are my particular old friends whose names occur at the
moment.

My love to you and Chud too,

Affectionately,

W.H.P.

The task of being "German Ambassador to Great Britain" was evidently not
without its irritations.

_To Arthur W. Page_

September 15, 1915.

DEAR ARTHUR:

Yesterday was my German day. When the boy came up to my room, I
told him I had some official calls to make. "Therefore get out my
oldest and worst suit." He looked much confused; and when I got up
both my worst and best suits were laid out. Evidently he thought he
must have misunderstood me. I asked your mother if she was ready to
go down to breakfast. "Yes."--"Well, then I'll leave you." She
grunted something and when we both got down she asked: "What _did_
you say to me upstairs?" I replied: "I regard the incident as
closed." She looked a sort of pitying look at me and a minute or
two later asked: "What on earth is the matter with you? Can't you
hear at all?" I replied: "No. Therefore let's talk." She gave it
up, but looked at me again to make sure I was all there.

I stopped at the barber shop, badly needing a shave. The barber got
his brush and razor ready. I said: "Cut my hair." He didn't talk
for a few minutes, evidently engaged in deep thought.

When I got to my office, a case was brought to me of a runaway
American who was caught trying to send news to Germany. "Very
good," said I, "now let it be made evident that it shall appear
therefore that his innocence having been duly established he shall
be shot."

"What, sir?"

"That since it must be evident that his guilt is genuine therefore
see that he be acquitted and then shot."

Laughlin and Bell and Stabler were seen in an earnest conference in
the next room for nearly half an hour.

Shoecraft brought me a letter. "This is the most courteous
complaint about the French passport bureau we have yet had. I
thought you'd like to see this lady's letter. She says she knows
you."

"Do not answer it, then."

He went off and conferred with the others.

Hodson spoke of the dog he sold to Frank. "Yes," said I, "since he
was a very nice dog, therefore he was worthless."

"Sir?"