ing,
Judges and juries at loggerheads quite!
Really each day brings some curious revealing,
Putting you, Ma'am, in a very strange light.
Take my advice, Ma'am, this bright New Year's morning,
Give a look up to your agents all round;
To some give the sack, and to others a warning;
The Public will back up your move, I'll be bound!

* * * * *

GREEK MEETS GREEK.--"What!" exclaimed an indignant scholar, who had
not peeped into a Classic for some forty years, "no more compulsory
Greek at our Universities! What are we coming to? All I can say is,
'_Absit omen_'!" "'Scuse me!" replied his friend, who was all for the
new learning, "but I should say, '_Absit Homer_'!"

* * * * *

SEASONABLE (AND SUITABLE) GOOD WISHES.

To a Card-player A Nappy }
To a Smart Girl A "Snappy" }
To a Flirt A "Chappy" }
To an Old Maid A Cappy }
To an Infant A Pappy }
To a Pigeon-shot A Trappy }
To an Explorer A Mappy } New Year to you!
To a Student A Sappy }
To a Cross Child A Slappy }
To an aspiring Pugilist A "Scrappy" }
To a Spiritualist A Tappy }
To a Toper A "Lappy" }
To _Toby_ A Yappy }
To a Snuff-taker A Rappee }

* * * * *

GIFTS FOR THE NEW YEAR.

_H-r M-j-sty_.--The hearty congratulations of a loyal and united
people.

_The Pr-nce and Pr-nc-ss_.--The most welcome of daughters-in-law.

_Prince Alb-rt V-ct-r_.--MAY in February.

_The Rest of the R-y-l F-m-ly_.--The best of wishes from everybody.

_L-rd S-l-sb-ry_.--A General Election.

_Mr. Arth-r B-lf-r_.--A Translation from the Irish.

_Mr. J. Ch-mb-rl-n_.--Promotion.

_Sir W-ll-m H-rc-rt_.--A Vision of the Woolsack.

_The Cz-r of R-ss-a_.--A Vision of another sort of Sack.

_The G-rm-n Emp-r-r_. New toys personally selected.

_President C-rn-t_.--The compliments of the Marquis of DUFFERIN.

_Herr Ibs-n_.--A tale without a plot.

_Mr. R-dy-rd K-pl-ng_.--Quite another story.

_The Corporation of L-v-rp-l_.--The Freedom of the Grand Old Man.

_The Gr-nd Old M-n_.--The loss of the Corporation of Liverpool.

_And Mr. P-nch_.--Tons of material (voluntarily contributed) for the
Grand Old Waste Paper Basket.

* * *