bting the
honesty of her intentions, had informed the policeman. She was
subsequently taken into custody, and the magistrate is now faced with
the problem as to whether she is a good little girl in that she put
money into War Loan, or a bad little girl in that she followed the
example of the profiteers.

* * * * *

OUR HELPFUL PRESS.

From a recipe for jam:--

"Add the fruit and boil 40 minutes. Glucose and sugar in equal
parts can be used if sugar is unobtainable."--_Daily Sketch_.

* * * * *

"To lease or rent a fine family residence, healthy locality, one
mile from Mandeville fully furnished with good accommodation for
a large family standing on ten acres of good grazing land with
many fruit trees has two large tanks, recently occupied by judge
Reece."--_Daily Gleaner (Jamaica)_.

Anything for coolness.

* * * * *

Extract from a speech by Mr. BROMLEY on the eight-hours' day:--

"They had endeavoured after long weary waiting to bring to
fruition in due time what had been the first plank in their
programme for thirteen years."--_Morning Paper_.

But the plank, as might be expected, has, as fruit-growers say, "run
to wood."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Colonel (asked to review V.A.D. Corps, and not wishing
to spring an order on them)_. "NOW, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU LADIES TO FORM
FOURS."]

* * * * *

THE PASSING OF THE COD'S HEAD.

(_A Romance of Chiswick Mall._)

It was because the dustman did not come;
It was because our cat was overfed,
And, gorged with some superior pabulum,
Declined to touch the cod's disgusting head;
It was because the weather was too warm
To hide the horror in the refuse-bin,
And too intense the perfume of its form,
My wife commanded me to do the sin,
To take and cast it in the twinkling Thames--
A practice which the neighbourhood condemns.

So on the midnight, with a strong cigar
And scented handkerchief, I tiptoed near,
But felt the exotic fragrance from afar;
I thought of ARTHUR and Sir BEDIVERE:
And it seemed best to leave it on the plate,
So strode I back and told my curious spouse
"I heard the high tide lap along the Eyot,
And the wild water at the barge's bows."
She said, "O treacherous! O heart of clay!
Go b