eur_ reprovingly, "such
as--well, such as a screw-driver for eye-glasses--most useful. And a
carriage key. And--"

His pause was my opportunity. "I'll tell you another thing," I said,
"something for which I'd have given a sovereign in that gale last week
when I was at the seaside--window-wedges. Never again shall I travel
without window-wedges."

"By Jove!" said the soldier, "that's an idea. Put down window-wedges
at once. It's a great book this," he went on. "And needed--I should
jolly well say so. You ought to compile it at once--before any of us
has time to go away again. Personally I don't know how I've lived
without it. Why, just talking about it makes me feel quite a literary
character."

"Let me see," I said sweetly, "what do you call this monumental
work? Oh yes, I remember--_Are There Any Important Omissions from my
Saturday-to-Monday Equipment?_"

"Rubbish!" said the soldier. "The title is--_Have I Put Everything
in?_"

* * * * *

BY THE CANAL IN FLANDERS.

By the canal in Flanders I watched a barge's prow
Creep slowly past the poplar-trees; and there I made a vow
That when these wars are over and I am home at last
However much I travel I shall not travel fast.

Horses and cars and yachts and planes: I've no more use for such;
For in three years of war's alarms I've hurried far too much;
And now I dream of something sure, silent and slow and large;
So when the War is over--why, I mean to buy a barge.

A gilded barge I'll surely have, the same as Egypt's Queen,
And it will be the finest barge that ever you have seen;
With polished mast of stout pitch pine, tipped with a ball of gold,
And two green trees in two white tubs placed just abaft the hold.

So when past Pangbourne's verdant meads, by Clieveden's mossy stems,
You see a barge all white-and-gold come gliding down the Thames,
With tow-rope spun from coloured silks and snow-white horses three,
Which stop beside your river house--you'll know the bargee's me.

I'll moor my craft beside your lawn; so up and make good cheer!
Pluck me your greenest salads! Draw me your coolest beer!
For I intend to lunch with you and talk an hour or more
Of how we used to hustle in the good old days of war.

* * * * *

The Vicar of a country parish was letting his house to a _locum
tenens_, and sent him a telegram, "Servants will be left if desired."
Promptly