***

Russian tea is being sold in London at 12s. 7d. a pound. It is
remarkable that, with the country in its present disorganised
condition, the Russian merchants can still hold their own without the
assistance of a Food Controller.

***

A room for quick luncheons, not to cost more than 1s. 3d., has been
opened in Northumberland Avenue for busy Government officials. It is
hoped eventually to provide room to enable a few other people to join
the GEDDES family at their mid-day meal.

***

KING CONSTANTINE, says a despatch, has rented an expensive villa
overlooking Lake Zurich. Just the thing for an ex-pensive monarch.

***

We are requested to say that the man named Smith, charged at Bow
Police Court the other day, is in no way connected with the other Mr.
Smiths.

***

At a vegetable show at Godalming, 5,780 dead butterflies were
exhibited by children. It is understood that the pacifists are
protesting against this encouragement of the martial spirit among
the young.

***

Considerable annoyance has been caused in Government circles by the
announcement that "at last the War Office has been aroused." Officials
there, however, deny the accusation.

***

The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER has received four hundred pounds from
an anonymous donor towards the cost of the War. The donor, it appears,
omitted to specify which part of the War he would like to pay for.

***

Germany has at last addressed a reply to the Argentine Republic,
pointing out that strict orders have been issued to U-boat commanders
that ships flying the Argentine flag must always be torpedoed by
accident.

***

Mammoth marrows have been reported from several districts, and it is
now rumoured that Sir DOUGLAS HAIG is busy developing a giant squash.

***

An official report states that there are three hundred and forty-three
ice-cream shops in Wandsworth. Unfortunately this is not the only
indication of an early winter.

***

A potato closely resembling the German CROWN PRINCE has been dug up
at Reading. This is very good for a beginning, but our amateur
potato-growers must produce a HINDENBURG if we are to win the War.

***

A woman walked into a shop at Cuckfield and settled a bill sent to her
twenty-four years ago, but it is not stated whether she was really
able to obtain any sugar.

***

The R.S.P.C.A. grows more and more alert. A ma