e peppermint test. Do you think peppermint will detect sewer gas,
Uncle Ike?"

"I know what you want, boy, you want to get me mad," said Uncle Ike, as
he threw his pipe into the grate because it wouldn't draw, and took a
new one and filled it. "There is no greater fraud on the earth than this
peppermint test for sewer gas. I had a house to rent, years ago, and was
ruined by peppermint. When a tenant had anything the matter, from grip
to corns, the doctor would look wise, snuff around, and say he detected
sewer gas, and they would call in a health officer and he would put a
little peppermint oil in somewhere, and go into another room, and when
he smelled the peppermint he would say it was sewer gas, and send for
a plumber, and they would begin to plumb, and I had to pay. I had nine
tenants in two years, and every disease they had was laid to sewer gas,
and I had to ease up on the rent or stand a lawsuit. When one family had
triplets, and tried to stand me off on the rent on account of sewer gas,
I became a walking delegate, and struck, and turned the house into a
livery stable, and now, do you know, every time I go to collect rent I
am afraid a horse has got sick, and the livery man will lay it to sewer
gas. Why, boy, peppermint oil will go through an asphalt pavement. You
might put peppermint oil on top of the Egyptian pyramids and you could
smell it in fifteen minutes in Cairo. If anybody ever talks to you about
sewer gas and peppermint test, call them a liar and charge it to me,"
and the old man was so mad the boy's hair began to curl.

"Here, Uncle Ike, what you staring out of the window so for, with your
eyes sot, like a dying horse, and your body as rigid as a statue?" and
the boy rushed up to the window and looked out to see what had come over
the old man.

"Hush, keep still, and don't scare her away," said Uncle Ike, as he held
up his hand and motioned the boy to keep still.

"By gosh, if it isn't a woman, Uncle Ike, that has paralyzed you, and
you always said you didn't care for them any more," said the red-headed
boy, as he looked out the window and saw a blonde-haired young woman
standing on the corner waiting for a street car, and glancing up at
Uncle Ike through the frowsy hair that was loosely flying about her
forehead. "And she is a blonde, too, and blondes have gone out of style.
Didn't you read in the papers that the shows won't hire blondes any
more, and that nothing but brunettes are in it? It must