Ike knew enough of Indian warfare
to know that the silence was only temporary. Suddenly there was a
blazing and crackling, and a big smoke from the back of the house, and
it seemed the redskins had set fire to the house, the hired girl yelled
fire and murder, and came out with a pail of water, while the chief
yelled "Charge!" and in a minute Uncle Ike was surrounded by the tribe,
his legs tied with the clothesline, though he fought with the garden
hose until there was not a dry rag on one of the boys or himself.

"Burn him at the stake!" shouted a little shrimp who carries papers
every afternoon, after school, as he wiped the red paint off his cheek
on to his bare arm, and shook water out of his trousers leg.

"No, let's hold him for a ransom," said the redheaded boy. "Aunt Almira
will give us enough to buy a melon, and make us a pail of lemonade, if
we let this gray-haired old settler off without scalping him."

"Chief, spare me, please," said Uncle Ike, as he sat up in a puddle
of water on the battle ground, with his legs tied. "I am the mother of
eleven orphan children. O, spare me! and don't walk on that pipe of mine
on the grass there, with your moccasins. I will compromise this thing
myself, and pay the ransom. Here is a dollar. Go and buy melons, and we
will have a big feed right here. But what was the fire behind the house,
and is it put out?"

"The ransom is agreed to," said the red-headed boy, as he took off his
string of feathers, and gave a yell, hitting his lips with the back
of his hand so it would "gargle," "and the fire is out. We put some
kerosene on an empty beer case, that was all." So Uncle Ike handed over
the dollar, and was released, while a boy who had washed his paint off
was sent to a grocery after a melon. Then they wiped the mud off Uncle
Ike, and all went upon the porch, a new pipe of peace was provided, and
they talked about the Wild West show of the night before, while Uncle
Ike did the most of the smoking of the pipe of peace, though he wiped
the stem once and handed it to the red-headed chief to take a whiff,
but the chief, after his experience with plug tobacco cholera a few days
before, declined with thanks.

"What interested you most at the show?" said Uncle Ike, puffing away, as
he sat on the floor of the porch, and leaned his back against one of
the posts. "When you go to a show you always want to get your mind on
something that makes an impression on you."

"Well, sir," said