, and politics, won't you?" and the old man looked at the
laughing boy with such pride that the boy knew he was only fooling.

"No, if I went into burglary and kindred industries, I could never find
such easy marks to practice on as dear old Uncle Ike," and the boy put
his arms around the old man and asked him what time it was, and the
Uncle grabbed his fob as though he was not sure whether it was there or
not. "Now, let's eat breakfast," and they sat down together, and Aunt
Almira poured the coffee, while Uncle Ike looked over the morning paper.

"You can disband your army, and let them go back to the paths of peace,
for Dreyfus has been pardoned," said the old man. "I knew that they
would pardon that man."

"Now, wouldn't that kill you," said the boy, as he sampled two or three
pieces of canteloupe to find one to his taste. "That breaks up my scheme
to fight the French. Uncle Ike, I have about made up my mind to lead a
different life and become a minister, and preach, and go to sociables,
and just have a dandy time. Say, it's a snap to be a minister, and only
have to preach an hour Sunday, and have all the week to go fishing and
hunting. What denomination would you advise me to become a minister of?"

"Well," said Uncle Ike, as he dropped a few lumps of sugar into his
coffee, and looked at the boy across the table, "from the color of your
hair, and your constant talk about falling in love every time you see a
pretty girl, and the manner in which you take up a collection every time
you see me anywhere, I should say you would make a pretty fair Mormon.
Yes, if I was in your place I would preach Mormonism, as your experience
in taking things out of people's pockets, in the way of watches, would
come handy, and you are so confounded freckled you would have to have
wives sealed to you or they would not stay. A minister has got to be
pretty condemned good-looking, nowadays, to hold a job in a fashionable
church."

"But the minister business is easy, ain't it? They don't have to work,
anyway," and the boy looked at Uncle Ike as though life expected an
opinion that was sound.

"If you took a job preaching," said the old man, whirling around from
the table, and sitting down in his old armchair, and lighting his pipe,
"you wouldn't have any, soft snap. Do you know anything about what a
minister has to do? Let's take one week out of the life of a regular
minister. He starts in on Monday morning by having a woman call at the