"I'll help you with them."

"Good, kind, Christian girl! There's nothing like having a reputation to
keep up. That's why I told you about my secret road."

"You're--vulgar."

"No, I'm human, and very young, and rather beautiful. And quite
intelligent." There came on her face the look which made her seem old
and tired with her own knowledge. "Was it Zebedee last night?"

Heat ran over Helen's body like a living thing.

"You're hateful," she stammered. "As though Zebedee and I--as though
Zebedee and I would meet by stealth!"

"Honestly, I can't see why you shouldn't. Why shouldn't you?"

Helen smoothed her forehead with both hands. "It was the way you said
it," she murmured painfully and then straightened herself. "Of course
nothing Zebedee would do could be anything but good. I beg his pardon."
And in a failing voice, she explained again, "It was the way you said
it."

"I suppose I'm not really a nice person," Miriam replied.

CHAPTER XVIII

During the week that followed, a remembrance of her responsibilities
came back to Helen and when she looked at Mildred Caniper, alternating
between energy and lassitude, the shining house seemed wearily far off,
or, at the best, Notya was in it, bringing her own shadows. Helen had
been too happy, she told herself. She must not be greedy, she must hold
very lightly to her desires lest they should turn and hurt her, yet with
all her heart she wanted to see Zebedee, who was a surety for everything
that was good.

By Rupert he sent letters which delighted her and gave her a sense of
safety by their restraint, and on Sunday another letter was delivered by
Daniel because Zebedee was kept in town by a serious case.

"So there will be no fear of my saying all those things that were ready
on my tongue," he wrote, to tease, perhaps to test her, and she cried
out to herself, "Oh, I'd let him say anything in the whole world if only
he would come!" And she added, on her own broken laughter, "At least, I
think so."

She felt the need to prove her courage, but she also wanted an excuse
fit to offer to the fates, and when she had examined the larder and the
store cupboard she found that the household was in immediate need of
things which must be brought from the town. She laughed at her own
quibble, but it satisfied her and, refusing Miriam's company, she set
off on Monday afternoon.

It was a soft day and the air, moist on her cheek, smelt of damp, black
earth. The moor w