the crowd, "is pre-eminently the car for a medical man or pushful
undertaker. No horn is supplied, though this will be fitted if desired. The
car is not cheap, but properly used will soon repay itself. Amongst the
accessories supplied with the standard chassis I should like to call your
attention to the collapsible game-bag and landing-net."

This went on for a long, long time, and I stayed till a man in the crowd
recognised me and showed symptoms of coming out of his trance. I fled, and
returned only at the luncheon interval.

"Sheila," I said--"Sheila, this may be fun for you, but James Wrigley and I
may sing in the streets to pay for it."

"You great stupid"--her eyes were sparking as she spoke--"I've booked more
orders than you will be able to carry out before you've learned wisdom.
Look!" It was practically a nominal roll of the local capitalists that she
showed me. "Nobody believes what you say about a car, so you can say what
you like. The thing is to get it noticed."

"Did they study these cars much before they let you take their names?"

Sheila looked into my eyes and laughed happily.

W. K. H.

* * * * *

Our Eccentric Advertisers.

"Youth Wanted to Strike."

_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE DACHSWOLF.

FRITZ (_doubtfully_). "GOOD DOG--IF YOU STILL _ARE_ A DOG."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "OH, AUNTIE, 'ZYMOTIC' _IS_ A FUNNY WORD FOR YOU TO BE SO
FOND OF."

"MY DEAR CHILD, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"WELL, DADDY SAID YOU WERE VERY FOND OF THE LAST WORD, SO I LOOKED IT UP IN
THE DICTIONARY."]

* * * * *

ABOUT BATHROOMS.

Of all the beautiful things which are to be seen in shop windows perhaps
the most beautiful are those luxurious baths in white enamel, hedged round
with attachments and conveniences in burnished metal. Whenever I see one of
them I stand and covet it for a long time. Yet even these super-baths fall
far short of what a bath should be; and as for the perfect bathroom I
question if anyone has even imagined it.

The whole attitude of modern civilisation to the bathroom is wrong. Why,
for one thing, is it always the smallest and barest room in the house? The
Romans understood these things; we don't. I have never yet been in a
bathroom which was big enough to do my exercises in without either breaking
the light or barkin