'Is happiness possible to-day?'"

_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

"Nursery Governess to go to Jamaica early May; two boys ages seven and
four; one able to give first lessons and music."--_Times._

Then why can't he teach the other?

* * * * *

"A UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY.

Exceptional Purchase of ---- Cigars. Weight about 1-1/2 lbs. Length 5
inches."

_Advt. in Evening Paper._

But only suitable, we should imagine, for very heavy smokers.

* * * * *

"Ex-Government Bedside Tables, make Boat Cupboards, Safes, Bookcases,
Wash-stands, etc., not large enough to live in."

_Provincial Paper._

Not a solution of the housing problem after all.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Head of the House._ "DON'T THINK I'M COMPLAINING, EMMA. I
KNOW I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY NEW CLOTHES, AND DON'T IN THE LEAST OBJECT TO
HAVING WILFRID'S TROUSERS CUT DOWN TO FIT ME; BUT THE BAG OF THE KNEE MAKES
THEM FALL SO AWKWARD AT THE ANKLE."]

* * * * *

SCREEN _v._ STAGE.

[According to Mr. W. G. FAULKNER, who has recently interviewed CHARLIE
CHAPLIN at Los Angeles, the great film comedian chiefly reads serious
books on philosophy and social problems, being specially interested in
the prices of food and clothing. Romantic novels have no attraction
for him, and it is nonsense to say that he ever hoped to play
_Hamlet_, for "he does not like Shakespeare, whose works neither
entertain nor interest him."]

There is bitter grief at Stratford, on the silver Avon's marge,
Where the cult of WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE is extremely fine and large,
For across the broad Atlantic comes the petrifying news
That the greatest film comedian does not care for WILLIAM'S Muse.

Serious problems--economics and the price of margarine--
Occupy the hours of leisure that he snatches from the screen;
But the works of WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE he dismisses as inane,
And he harbours no ambition to enact the princely Dane.

This momentous revelation, little birds reveal to me,
Has produced a spasm of anguish in the heart of SIDNEY LEE;
Wails arise from HENRY AINLEY, BENSON, LANG and MOSCOVITCH,
Though so far no word of protest emanates from LITTLE TICH.

Still, by way of compensation for this ruthless turning down
Of t