had invited them, or they
had first asked her permission. As a difference of opinion exists on
this point, it would be well if it could be an understood thing that any
gentleman wishing to make the acquaintance of a lady could, after having
himself presented to her, leave his card at her house with his address
upon it. Of course this applies only to comparative strangers, for any
young man can commit his card to his mother or sister to leave for him
at a house where either visits, if he wishes to be included in
invitations. Unless his card is left in this way or in person, how can
he expect to be remembered? Some years ago, a lady who gave a ball
during the winter after her return from a residence abroad, omitted to
send invitations to the young men who, having previously visited at her
house, had not left their cards at her door since her arrival home,
preferring to substitute gentlemen who had never been entertained by her
to inviting those who were so remiss. For this reason she gave
permission to several young ladies to name gentlemen among their friends
whom they would like to have invited; and so agreeable to the hostess
was the selection thus made that she placed permanently upon her
inviting list the names of those who sufficiently appreciated her
courtesy to remember afterward the slight duties which their acceptance
of her hospitality imposed upon them.

Still another illustration will show what unsettled ideas many hold in
regard to points of etiquette which ought not to admit of any diversity
of opinion. Ladies sometimes say to each other, after having been in the
habit of meeting for years without exchanging visits, "I hope you will
come and see me," and almost as frequently the answer is made, "Oh, you
must come and see me first." One moment of reflection would prevent a
lady from making that answer, unless she were much the older of the two,
when she could with propriety give that as the reason. The lady who
extends the invitation makes the first advance, and the one who receives
it should at least say, "I thank you--you are very kind," even if she
has no intention of availing herself of it. A lady in the fashionable
circles of our largest metropolis once boasted that she had never made a
first visit. She was not aware, probably, that in the opinion of those
conversant with the duties of her position she stamped herself as being
just as underbred as if she had announced that she did not wait for any
one